Friday, December 14, 2007


In 7 hours time, i will board my flight back to Malaysia.. It's been a wonderful ride and I would do it again if I had the chance :)

Selamat Tinggal, Sydney... for now :p

Sunday, December 09, 2007

And She's Good!

My dad listens to some of Los Zafiros' songs but I never did hear or know much about them. Just happened to google them today out of curiosity and found this video on youtube. This song is titled "Y Sabes Bien" and it's about a good girl (as the title suggests) who the guy is in love with. It's one of their biggest hits as at the peak of their success, they were Cuba's (or South America, in general) biggest chart topper next to The Beatles. I love the simple but sincere words they used in the songs. Kau berani buat harmony camni?? hahahaha

(To all the people who I've annoyed by sending them the link to the video, I'm "sorry" ;p)


I've been thinking long and hard whether I should be writing about this issue. Someone told me that I shouldn't and I was very afraid myself that I do not have enough information or knowledge to talk about this but it keeps running through my mind despite me heavily teling myself not to think about it.

I cannot sit still and laugh at jokes when my nation is in distress. It's a ballooning issue and I have a strong feeling that it would not end soon. The most depressing part is that the both ethnic race (damn, we're all supposed to be just Malaysians) that are having this feud between them are parts of me. To think of it rationally, it shouldn't have been a racial issue. If one group comes forward with their petition, it should be something that the other groups should respect and try to understand why there is such a dissatisfaction within the nation. If a sibling complains to the mother/father, do we go and kick him in the head? If you do so, all I can say is that means you probably come from a family with troubles and not enough emotional support.

I was very disturbed with a few bulletins in my social network webpages written by Malays saying that they are racist and they are proud of that fact. Some wrote that the other races should go back to where they come from. If South Africa asks the Malays there to go back to their country, do you think it's fair? If Australia or United Kingdom asks the Malaysians there to go back to where they came from or Malaysians getting hassled all around the world for not belonging where they are despite having the expertise and knowledge to improve themselves, how would you feel? For all Malaysians, there is no home other than Malaysia. Stop telling people to go back where they came from because even you (in retrospect) might not belong where you said you do.

We're all in this together. Stop saying that you don't care because you should. This petition that came after another one by a separate ethnic movement about 7 years ago is an alarming sign. It is not enough to think of it as a phase because although some claims seemed pretty much far-fetched, others might have a strong case. Stop thinking that one is more superior than the others because honestly, we're no different from one another. The earth belongs to God and we were sent to govern it with harmony and equality. And we are obliged to do wholeheartedly regardless of our differences.

Saturday, December 08, 2007

Of Many Illusions

I was out with Durra, Fariza and Syada to Borders yesterday to do a little vital reading, accompanied with a cup of coffee to complete the mood. The posse read completely different things, I was tuned in to Rolling Stones and Blender (that features Jiggaman on the cover this month) the whole while, Fariza was very much into the gossip mags (gossip girls.. XOXO.. haha), Syada was attempting another book by a thai writer who wrote a book she has just finished reading and Durra was flipping through anything that was within reach. Owhh... yeah! I just realised that I have this annoying habit of laughing out loud and making remarks about the things I read.. Even worse, I constantly have the urge to share it with anyone who's willing (or not) to hear it. Will keep in mind to only say what I think when it's relevant and smart :p

After 2 hours, we decided to go back and it was about to rain heavily then. So in order to drift my mind away from the impending storm, I created this silly game of matching my friends to a certain celebrity.. It started in Borders actually when I saw Beyonce on a cover and told Fariza that I love Beyonce and would like to be her while Fariza wants to be Posh! So here is a list of a few nominations we came up with.. haha

Durra, Ana (and later at home, Nisa) decided that Fariza's character is like:
a) Julia Roberts
b) Jessica Simpson

Ana, Nisa and Fariza decided that Durra's character is like:
a) Reese Witherspoon
b) Reene Zelleweger

Nisa, Durra and Fariza decided that Ana's character is like:
a) Jennifer Lopez
b) Katie Holmes

Ana, Durra and Fariza decided that Nisa's character is like:
a) Oprah Winfrey
b) Queen Latifah

Durra, Ana, Nisa and Fariza decided that Syada's character is like:
a) Rosario Dawson
b) Anne Hathaway

Ana, Durra and Nisa decided that Tasha's character is like:
a) Delta Goodrem
b) Ellen Pompei

Yeah, that was how random the conversation was and how bored we all were.. I guess your friends are the best one after your mum to say who you are (are they?)..haha.

Thursday, December 06, 2007

5 Peratus

I've always been a fan of the hip hop genre and I often feel that the music is pure because they speak of what bothers them and why it does. I've grown to further loving the genre after I discovered that many of the rappers I listen to are Muslims. So you hear songs like "Allahu Akbar" by Brand Nubian and rappers having names like Rakim Allah. Other namely famous Muslim rappers would be Busta Rhymes, Mobb Depp and Nas. Fine, I thought I was listening to great and profound stuff while deepening my understanding about the beauty of my faith. i'm listening to another Muslim, I thought it would be alright.... right??

Boy, was I wrong... I've heard one of Wu Tang Clan's song (which I unfortunately can't remember) making a reference to the ignorant 85% but I didn't know anything about it and just bopped my head along to the beat. Apparently, I was indeed ignorant although I would strongly like to make a point that I'm not included in what Method Man was referring to. What he was talking about is the philosophy of the 5 Percenters Movement who call themselves Muslims but not the way Sunnis and Syiahs or even Sufis practices them. So, I decided to run a small research for my own awareness and probably yours too.

Ok, here's a quick run through of the movement. They're now known as The Nation of God and Earth which is a splinter from the Nation of Islam group and believe that black people are the true leaders of the world. They have a doctrine that believes black man can personify god through meditation and culture. For them, ALLAH is essentially an acronym of Arm, Leg, Leg, Arm, Head thus referring to the human body or self. They call themselves the 5 Percenters because there are 85% of the ignorant/blind population who are blinded by 10% of the knowing teachers who refuse to teach the 85% the real deal. Only the 5% gets the real philosophy of the world and they are the privileged ones. They memorise the Divine Alphabet and Supreme Mathematics which are popularised through rapping in the NY streets by the founder of the movement, Clarence 13X (also later calls himself Allah the Father)

They see themselves as god, so now you understand why a rapper usually has a bigger ego than all of the seven seas combined? This attitude can be hypothetically channelled through a historical connection between rap and this organisation who claims they are not a black supremacist movement. What worries me the most is that some kid out there is going to listen to these songs by rappers who claim that they are Muslims and be confused about the real teaching of Islam. I'm sensitive about saying what really constitutes the teachings of Islam but this is strictly out of the line. Islam is not a religion exclusively for black man, it's for everyone.

My ignorance has thankfully forced me to learn more and not to just nod my head to whatever I hear. It urges me to think about what I hear and to think before i emulate. I hope all of those who heart this genre would achieve an understanding about why there is such an egocentric and egoistical approach/attitude in the songs and comprehend the degree of its relativity to our practice as a Muslim, especially if you happen to make a career of it.

*just for the record, some members of the Roots are sunnis and Mos Def is a Sunni too :)*

Why Do We Forget?

Remember when we broke up the last time? We swore that we will stay away from love, swore that we will wait for that person to come knocking on our door to tell us that he/she has changed their way and finally realise that we were the one in the first place. Then in a few months, we find ourselves daydreaming about another person and all those promises to oneself seem to be blown away with the short time that went along?

Call me a cynic but judging from personal and some closest friends' experiences, I refuse to believe that a person will put a lost love ahead of themselves and devote their time to it, no matter how hard we tell ourselves to. I fanatically think that love is essential to life but I also think sanity and rationale is the fundamentals of life. Well, it might take some people years to fall out of love but to make a statement that "I will never love again" is going to be a-caught-in-the-spur-of-the-moment action that will haunt you, particularly when you start to feel some interest for another person. When this feeling blooms, it's such an embarassment to yourself and the people around you for saying all those things you've said when you were heart broken.

So, whenever you're caught in such adversity, stop telling yourself that this is the end because for all you know, it might be the beginning of a new life. Some people will have to go through a lot of pain to find happiness, some people find them in a single strike. Keep that in mind and get a grip of yourself so that the world and you can move forward.

p/s: no one loves a cry baby.

*this is a reflection of my current feelings despite feeling lost in love just a few months ago. It has nothing to do with any other poor sufferring souls out there*

Monday, December 03, 2007

Ceritera Cinta :)

Sampai hati nobody told me that Lah replaced Rio Febian to sing a duet with Jaclyn Victor in Separuh Akhir Muzik-Muzik 22 for Ceritera Cinta. I just happened to stumble upon the video on youtube today after about two weeks it was aired on TV3.

I liked it very much even if there are bits and pieces that might not be top quality stuff (2nd chorus was a bit here and there). The two final chorus and bridge was great!Jac strut her stuff but of course all of us can see that wasn't her 110%. Lah was exceptionally good too. I know some of you are smiling going, "Ana, you're biased." No, I'm not. I won't say Lah did a better job than Rio because that's not fair on either side as they need not be compared. This combination, however, did work quite well and I wonder if Lah is still going to sing the song in the finals (yes, they got through because this is, indeed, a composition that needs to be acknowledged)

All the best to Jaclyn Victor... We need you to win again :)

Sunday, December 02, 2007

Freaky Sunday

What a freaking coincidence?

How many times in life do you come across a person who has the same first name as you do, aged the same and taking up the same course which would necessarily mean that the both of you are going to share the same vocation in the near future??? Due to the cosmic strength of the Internet to find anything anywhere at anytime, I came across this person who shares all these criteria with me and also fancies writing as well as having her pictures taken (even if I personally prefer snapping my own pictures). Though, the difference between us might be that (I suspect) she is more musically gifted (the comparative “more” used there does not in any way indicate that I’m musically gifted by any nature at all :p)

Funny how much similarly different we can be in this world… hehe

Siapa Yuna?

Feel intrigued by the sounds of Yuna especially if you enjoy the likes of Corrine Bailey Rae, Norah Jones and bits of Colbie Caillat.. Sile, sile jamu selera ;)

Out Of the Box

I'm currently reading the collection of best short stories written by Franz Kafka and I'm strangely struggling very hard to keep up with it. I won't try to deny it, I seriously don't get him or his strange innuendoes of human flaws and falsehood in living. I feel choked by the way he clearly describes something yet his direct intentions remain unclear. I hate it that I have to make my own sense of everything and give every single incident my own personal understanding. But I think it might be that I'm just not used to the genre and subconsciously, I do not want to suit myself to it.

Some of my friends might know that I have this weird fascination over Indian and Chinese writers, especially of those living/had lived in Western countries. I seem to think that I can borrow their cap for a while and try to configure my thoughts according to theirs because we have the solidarity of coming from an Eastern country with all its mores and moral but realistically, it's a modern cut-throat world where these traditions cannot seem to survive. These dilemmas are something I think I can identify with even if I was just living in Malaysia because it encapsulates the possible ways I'm threatened to drive my life.

But the thing is that, usually these Eastern-Western clash is a potrayal of a real world where these writers somehow try to tell you how to function and how to act. They provide you with implicitly hidden solutions to life and I think I've been groomed to function in what is real and tangible that I find it very hard to accept the lessons immaculately postulated by the Metamorphosis of Kafka's Gregor Samsa or the Vampire Chronicles of Anne Rice's Lestat.

I wished that I was more open-minded and I wished that I can somehow tell myself to stop refraining to read the stories until they're finished. I guess education is going to be a lifelong process for me indeed and I hope to see the day that I will stop despising people for not writing the way I want them to... :p

The Shift

This past week has been a truly different vibe for the country with the change of government that has taken place on last Saturday. The ALP, under the leadership of Kevin Rudd has lived up to their promise by ratifying the Kyoto Protocol (yippe doo!), drawing up early plans of service withdrawals from Iraq and iniating proposals of scraping the IR Laws. Although the changes in the government policy is yet to be felt, it is quite clear that the Australian knew what they wanted and stuck with that opinion. The Ruddster was definitely a key point in ALP winning the elections because I believe that the former leader, Kim Beazley didn't have the appeal that Kev Sev had.. You can just understand that opinion just by seeing the nicknames he has. Rudd is a self-confessed dork and I can see why he appeals :)

The struggle of the Liberals to change came as swift as their loss to ALP last Saturday with the newly elected leader, Brendan Nelson among others stating his support for gay marriages (which has always been something Liberals has taken a stand against). I see this as a sudden and desperate, if I may use the word, attempt to show that Liberals are progressive and not mundanely conservative. Well, considering it is among the first statements made by someone who could have been the Prime Minister (if Howard and Costello weren't in the running), it signifies a certain importance and underlying message that the party is trying to deliver. Well, the fact that Nelson was chosen over Turnbull in the first place got me off my seats because Nelson was formerly a union leader strongly connected to the ALP (with snippets of video in the news showing him blazing into a microphone, shouting that he will never vote Liberals!). A perfect example of how politics is neither dogmatic nor sacred.

It's been a refreshing experience watching a real political transition (i think revolution is too strong of a word considering they always change their leaders when needed). Here, the promises for the election were concrete and absolute, they say what they want to change and how they want to change it and how much it would cost the nation. Back home, the promises are "untuk membina bangsa yang lebih berwawasan dan berjaya" or "untuk memantapkan ekonomi negara", vaguely described without any elaborations or the slightest hint of plans. Probably the only concrete thing we have is the posters and banners, which a political commentator in SMH easily laughed off as a reminiscent of Australia in the 1950s up to 1970s. Haha.. I let out a nervous laugh too when I realised how backwards the mentality is. Well, if it really is an election based on how many posters each contending party can put up, maybe we should just teach our kids how to count rather than how to crtically think.

Top 5 Holiday Destination

I keenly read the Traveller sections in SMH every weekend dreaming about where I want to go for holidays if I have the money. As expected, I change them every week depending on what is featured, so much so that I think I could live up to the philosophy that "The World Is Your Playground". If money is no object, I think I would like to visit one country (or a few regions) from each continent. I obviously have a lot of time in my hands so I have thought about each of this selection carefully ;p

North America: Probably want to visit Philadelphia and New York the most. Philadelphia for the spectacular grafitti and the respect that they give to the art. (Sometimes I wonder why don't we all appreciate it and see it as a healthy channel of expression but that's a whole different story). New York for the cultural setting and the opportunity to experience the hustle and bustle of a true city without the overpowering stench of glamourous life.

South America: Want to go to Brazil!!! Want to experience the magic of Rio de Janeiro and groove to the original jive of latin music, just imagining it makes me feel cool already (hahahaha!). Want to swim in the beautiful coastal beach at Sao Paulo, visit the Amazon and see the river with my own eyes..

Africa: I was divided between a few options but I ultimately decided that I should visit Zanzibar which used to be a part of Tanzania. I first came across Zanzibar on Amazing Race: All Star and was immediately fascinated by the charm of Zanzibar City. The city has a mixture of Africans, Arabs and Indians with a majority of them being Muslims. So food wouldn't be a problem. Zanzibar is considerably much more stable compared to their other neighbouring countries and boasts their beautiful, serene resorts as one of the most private and best in the world.

*muka berangan memikirkan percutian*

Europe: This is another tough call but I think first and foremost, I would like to visit France. It's just that the country seems to ooze sexiness and happiness that's almost unbelievable. It would be nice to visit the Disneyland there and try to lepak at the cafes, gobbling down every buttery pastry they have. I heard that they are racist and insensitive to the idea of religion but I also heard somewhere else that they are among the most tolerant people in the world. So it looks like I have to go there to judge for myself, eyh??

Asia: Would probably like to visit India first before I go to other places in the continent. In particular, I think it would be great to be able to visit the village in the Thirunevelli district of Tamilnadu where my grandfather came from about 60 years ago when he was only 15. My grandparents only went back once after that and my grandmother said that we were lucky that we were born in Malaysia but I won't go on with the details because it might be a bit sensitive. I also heard that visiting India is like visiting a whole continent by itself hence the Sub-continent nick that they have... It probably doesn't cost as much as visiting some other places and I'm also thrilled at the prospect of catching SRK live.. wohooo!

Australia: Been there, done that.. haha (amboi, sombong!)

Now, I'm tagging these people to know their favourite destination according to the 5 continents (or any islands In the South Pacific region)

1) Nina Yayang
2) Tasha Harun
3) Soya Chan
4) Cek Suhana
5) Alin Becks (walaupun kamu sibuk dgn assignment.. ekekeke)


I've been haunted by another commercial jingle and have been singing the bits that's featured in it. The ad I'm talking about is the IPod Touch one where there's a girl singing "Music is my girlfriend, Music is my boyfriend, Music is my dead end and lalalalala". So out of curiosity I googled it today and found out after 3 weeks of constant singing that it's actually a full length song sung by a group called CSS entitled "Music Is My Hot, Hot Sex" (adik, takde tajuk lain ke???). But it is darn catchy and I love the cheekiness of the song. Macam comel dan boleh menari bersama clumsily with your friends... (nina, jom, jom! hahaha.)

Have A Watch!

*nak download lagu ni but terkejut pulak mummyku melihat lagu bertajuk begini dlm playlist anak dia.. haha*

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Seeing Doubles

I must be so into the idea of returning home because I honestly saw some familiar faces here in uni, MC or around Sydney..

a) Abang Boost who looks like Imran Ajmain
b) A chick who looks like Kak Yasrina shopping kat Myers
c) Abang yang study kat library who looks like Sean Ghazi
d) Abang Cina at Paddy's Market who looks like Shah
e) A high school girl who looks like Norjuma (minus the hijab)

random.... i know

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Random Act Of Kindness

We went to buy boxes to pack our stuff that needs to be sent home by airfreight. So we braved ourselves to walk a 3km distance today to go to 1, Talavera Road (untuk anak-anakku di Sydney, that's from Culloden Road to Sambal at Lane Cove..jauh tu!) and found Pack Send situated in the middle of nowhere. When we FINALLY reached the office, the guy at the reception greeted us with a warm smile. He just looks like a typical Aussie bloke and talked like one too... haha

Dah walked for an hour tu, penat jugaklah kan so we kinda took our time in choosing the boxes we need. We were all half-panting, I think but the three of us kept our cool. After choosing the boxes, each of us had 4 boxes to bring back and the guy who looks like he should be called Tim looked at us quite amazedly

Tim: Did you guys drive here?
Us: Nope (smiles)
Tim: Then how are you gonna bring all of these back?
Us: We'll probably walk...or take a bus
Tim: *muka terkejut and ran to the back of the shop.. came back and said* I will send you guys back because I can't imagine the three of you bringing these boxes on your own
Us: erkkk.... *equally terkejut, didn't have the time to say anything*
Tim: I'll meet you guys outside
Us: *terkebil-kebil and speechless but grateful*

When he dropped us home, he enthusiastically waved goodbye to the three of us and you should just look at our beaming faces. You see, it doesn't require too much to be remembered. Tim only sent us back on a 5 minutes journey back to our place but his help did meant quite a lot especially because he was a stranger and he was not obliged to do so for us. It turns out a random act of kindness is that random after all :)

Save The Last Dance

Little Waltz- Basia Bulat

you and I, we make a grand salute
stare at each other like lost little birds across the room
and I remember the way you looked
I learned how to dance, but I'd never shown it to you

my love,
I know I was wrong, but you know that you'll always be
my love
stay for a while while our leaves are still green
please, for me

I know I tried, but it's hard sometimes
the roots don't take, it takes a while
and you pull at the strings
but they're broken, it seems
the dance isn't over for me, no

my love,
I know I was wrong, but you know that you'll always be
my love
stay for a while while our leaves are still green
please, for me

*they used this song for Volkswagon EOS ad in Australia and I can only imagine why but the song has haunted me ever since I've first listened to it. I just had to google it straight away and found out that it's a song from a London-based folk singer, Basia Bulat. I think the lyrics is just too beautiful. Hope to serenade someone with this song somewhere in the future.. hehe*

*another advertisement song that I love is the one used in the Sony Smile Shutter Camera ad as you can tune in to here owwwhhhh.. i'm such a tv junkie.. haha*

An Ode To Lost Love

I'm staring outside the window,

The rain keeps telling me,

That I've lost you forever,

And you're no longer my strength,

I remember how we loved but

I've taken you for granted,

When you're irreplaceable to me,

I've done all these mistakes,

But you'll always be the love of my life,

For being in love with you,

Has been the gift of my life...

Saturday, November 24, 2007

3 Minggu Lagi..

I went to pick up my flight tickets yesterday (muahaha).. Found out that I'll be sandwiched between Fariza and Jul Li on the flight home but that's all good. Also got some souvenirs for family and neighbours (mak dah miskin, nyah!) hehe.. It's a funny sensation, achieving this notion that I'll be going back for good. Time flew quite amazingly quick and I didn't even realised half of the time I've spent here.

Don't get me wrong, I heart KL even if I love Syd. But understanding that a certain lack of privacy and some prevailing intrusion into life by family and relatives will occur again, hurrrmmm *sigh* I love my family, of course but when you go back again, you won't be totally independent. You'll have to seek consultation on every single thing (that's for me, at least) and after two years or so of not doing so, I reckon you sort of "forget" how it works.. haha

But I'm looking forward to spend some time browsing through what's brewing in the Malaysian music scene (notice I said brewing and not ageing), attending more events (kenduri, family gatherings, music etc.) & looking for potholes (hehe). Also looking forward to meet my fellow INFs who some I haven't met in two years, some I haven't actually met at all(aku dah penat menaip dgn korang.. hahaha)

wowo.. so much to do, so much time left...

Wednesday, November 21, 2007


Sometimes, you grow so familiar with each other that you forget to acknowledge that the other soul has a sensitive feeling. Sometimes, it's hard to just pretend and put on a straight face when that occurs. Sometimes you feel that your friends would rather do something else than being with you and you are left far away in the midst of everything. This shouldn't happen after years of being friends but it still does. Blame it on the monthly aches or the moon, it's all the same when it feels bad that you have said or done something to offend/hurt each other. I guess this is what happens to married couples when they think that their partner is taking them for granted...

*this is just a reflection... i'm alright*


I am currently reading The Heart of A Woman by Maya Angelou, which is the forth installment of her five series biography. Somehow, I've read the previous three with different appreciation for her personality, as if I am getting to know three separate persons. I never grew accustomed to reading them in a continuum which I taught only appropriate because somehow, she just seem so segmented and transformed in her ideals and approach to life in the each decade of life she has endured. Seems pretty untrue huh? These honest accounts of her life which are often dissimilar in tone although highly comparable to Toni Morrison's subject matters teach us to appreciate changes sometimes just for the sake of it. It made me realise that as a community as well as a person, we all change with the course of time although some of us would rather deny this, undoubtedly for the fear of resolute time ticking.

In this book, the African Americans are still striving to receive the treatment they deserve in their own country. They are still being associated to their own land (ie Africa) regardless of the fact that they may have been the 13th generation of Americans. It might not be the same in Malaysia but accepting changes becomes terribly important for us and realising that having apparent privileges compared to others in a country does not bridge us closer but instead drifts us apart regardless of how neutral or noble our intentions are. It proved right in the United State about 50 years ago as the changes brought upon by the people has commandered a milestone of achievement. It did took the United States tremendously long to achieve the idea of equality (I still think they have not fully) and I can only wonder how long it would take for us to change. I want you to think of the word "us" and determine who that is before asking yourselves, has there really been an "us" anyway...

Just like the words of Tupac in Changes
"It's time for us as a people to start makin' some changes.
Let's change the way we eat, let's change the way we live
and let's change the way we treat each other.
You see the old way wasn't working so it's on us to do
what we gotta do, to survive."

Monday, November 19, 2007


Which Sesame Street Character Are You?

You are part Elmo. You are lovable and ticklish, and always inquisitive. Sometimes, though, your excitement about the world can make you seem childish, naive, and occasionally irritating to others.
You are part Cookie Monster. You are a glutton. You often make attempts at controlling yourself, but why stop yourself from getting what you really want? Cookies. Inside, you are sensitive and vulnerable and it just may be the source of your problems.
Find Your Character @

Friday, November 16, 2007

I'm An Addict

*I've grown addicted to avocados!!! It is overtaking my life.. I can't seem to get by without it. I hope it's just a phase because avocados cost a trizillion in Malaysia. Maybe I should stock up on all I can eat now... Try it on toast or as dips. It's definitely a healthier option for us. The picture I have above is mashed avocados with slices of tomatoes, onions and lime juice with a twang of taco sauce served as a dip for cracked pepper crackers... nyum nyum*

*I just got hold of Gabriel Garcia Marquez's Love In The Time of Cholera from the library. This book is just soooo dense and I think because it is translated from Spanish, too many things need to be explained in greater pain in order to avoid the story to lose its essence. Currently, I feel my life is being consumed by the complicated characters in the book and the keen acknowledgement of death with its certainty or life with its uncertainty. I heard that they've turned this book into a movie and I would like to see how the screenplay is done because this is quite a tough book with highly complex characters. I'm a romantic addict in addition to an avocado addict. No wonder my housies say I'm skema (not that it's bad :p)*

Wednesday, November 14, 2007


This is a hard subject to tackle and I know it's kind of risky to talk about this, in case it backfires in the future but I feel obliged to get this out of my head. We all know that there's always two sides to a coin, heads or tails. In some things, the distinction might be blurred yet in others, it simply explains itself effortlessly, like when I say that not everyone appreciates a public display of affection everywhere and everytime.

When we talk about this, some of us can be taken as guilty for having done it at some point of life, regardless of whether as a married couple or not. But we all glare at the over displaying of these affections. It's really hard to say how much is too much but I think it is necessary sometimes to consider your surroundings and the people there. I understand that an awful lot of time, we get so immersed in love and forget everyone else but hey, we tolerate you most of the times so spare us some of the wayang.

It's unavoidable to hear people targetting some of these proprietors of PDAs when their relationship breaks up, saying "Well, it still didn't last regardless of how much you want everybody to know". I'm struggling to keep myself objective here but my eyes are telling my brain that they have endured too much all this while :P Just one thing, keep it in right dosages to have everyone, especially yourself happy...

Footballer Of The Year (and The Heart)

I love Kaka, sometimes for the wrong reasons but we will all have to accept the fact that he is a truly good player. Hearing that he is the favourite to win the coveted Footballer of the Year award adds to the need to continue loving him. Ok, ok.. I admit that I adore him mostly for that jet black hair and gorgeous, gorgeous face :P Plus the fact that he was still a "V" when he got married recently. How cute is that considering he look that good and comes from Brasilia with hot chicks basically just popping around EVERYWHERE... If he can do it, why not all of us out here? You Go, Kaka!

I know I shouldn't be focusing on the private side of his life outside the field but it's just so tempting to continue googling him and have pictures of him clad in Armani suits (drool). No wonder guys hate it when we watch football with them (jeleslah tu!).. haha

Apa C.L.A.Z?

Thanks to the ever-updating Souldeliters (angkat topi kepada Fauzan), I stumbled upon this link and discovered the sounds and voices behind a song called "Bukan"... For the time being, there's only one songlah but I tell you, OKlah this one, very 90s R&B, I think.. Lagu to pujuk your girlfriend if she's sulking when you accidently scolded her (yeah, s**t happens)... There are parts in the songs that can be a little bit weird but it's tolerable after a few listens. I think the voices sound terribly familiar but can't say anythinglah because it's not confirmed. Is this supposed to be a secret project or something(ala-ala Tyco circa 2000 kot)???

Just hope all that happens will continue to happen, not something that passes by with the wind and gone in a split second..

to have a listen, go to and drop comments :)

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Ray Of Light

As regretted, I'm gonna have to miss deepavalli yet again this year. Since it's the fifth year after the passing of my dad, the family can actually celebrate it in a grand scale again but sadly I won't be there. My mum and siblings celebrated the night of Deepavalli at Kajang (at my dad's aunts place) and after having their breakfast, they would be leaving for Karak where my grandad and grandmum decides to celeberate this year.

I remember Deepavalli quite vividly mostly due to the extremity of colourful celebration. Because we used to celebrate it in Cameron Highlands, the atmosphere was one of serenity trapped in a bottle of festivities. Our family house is situated at the end of the so-called civilised road that further leads to some indigeneous villages and an old temple deeply situated in a used-to-be tea plantation farm. The road to my grandparents place can only accomodate one car at a time and there's no buses nearby. From the main road, we would have to walk for about an hour or take a 15 minutes drive. But that doesn't stop my tata, patti, mamas, attes, chittapas and chittis from conjuring such an elaborate festival.

We would start the mornings with taking an oil bath. My patti strongly insist that she would pour the first amount of oil that touches our heads personally before we would carry on doing it ourselves. My mum reluctantly agrees to this ritual but my dad assures her every year that we are not doing a religious rite but rather only a cultural one. After that dreaded oil bath that my mum only allows to be placed on the head for us and that always causes my cousins to grow envious of us smelling better (:P), we would all supposedly required to touch our elders feet but since we are not allowed to do that, my siblings and I would salam and kiss our grandparents' hands. We noticed that we were odd compared to our cousins but it didn't matter much at that time because the RM5o in the ang pau given by tata and the RM20 by patti erased all of our differences.

Then comes the elaborate breakfast with everything Indian under the sun.. the tosai, idlis, chutneys, varuvals, curries, fresh lassies.. too much, too much. Since my tata owns his own poultry and goats, my dad is assigned the duty to slaughter around 12 fat chickens and 2 goats the day before because there's no other muslims in sight. He would complain about it every single time and my b****y aunt once said "who asked you to marry a malay then?".. huhu.. panas. Everything here used to be so darn fresh. Every single fruit you can think of grows just nearby and is easily pluckable. After the filling breakfast, the whole family would gather in front of the television watching the latest Tamil (hail Rajni!) movies on the VCR because until Astro came along, our home could only receive some blurred reception from RTM1 and 2. My aunts and uncles would make a lot of noise during this time trying to catch up on their lost times together and we, the kids used to get a scolding for tuning up the volume. Hey, we want to hear the Muthu's theme song okay?

Now, all the cousins have grown up. Four of the 18 of us are married and have kids. Some are too little to be included into our memories. Some of us got lost in translation and decided to resolute to silence. When we occasionally meet nowadays, it's the polite smile with the polite "how are you?" and the somewhat impolite "why are you so thin?? your mother never feed you rice, is it?" (no, that's not an insult, it's just how we say hi). Although we still keep regular contact, it just doesn't feel the same anymore. My tata and patti have also moved in with my uncle so that they can get regular treatment at the hospital which would otherwise be quite impossible if they still lived in CH. So, even our family house is only left haunted with the memory of our laughters and tears. I'm not saying Deepavalli is no longer fun, it's just that we all have changed due to time and that's just the way the world is.

Though, my parents have always been asked about how they work things out successfully and I consider myself as lucky to have been raised in these continuum of culture. In retrospect, the culture weren't really as different as it seems to be. All we need is a little bit of tolerance in between our practices. Everybody had to sacrifice some little parts of their life for each other in our family and it did turn out quite well. I remember my mum once said "If I ever get the chance to do it all over again, I wouldn't change a thing about marrying into this family"...

Confessions Of A Tragic Music Lover

Yes, this is a story that’s partly about a discovery, a revelation, the coming-out-of-the-closet equivalent of confessions from a tragic music lover. People, I’m 22 years old and I still love V.E as much as the first time I heard those voices in “Just A Friend”. As hard as I try to stay away from that fact, I still not-so-secretly listen to their songs everyday. Yes, I probably need to grow up and only listen to Thelonious Monk, Outlandish or Raul Midon by now but I seriously cannot leave the playlist I call “Malaysia’s Best” alone.

If you think Extreme Pleasure is one the best albums ever produced in Malaysia for its time, please look to your left and right first before enthusiastically raising your hands. I think neither V.E nor Ruffedge managed to again capture the magic from that album into their works thereafter. I mean, who can forget the bouncy and crazeeee “Creep” or the sweet but cheeky “Touch, Kiss, Hug, Love”? Not to mention the song that never fails to make my day- Yes, Ayu.. the song that made me cut classes when I was in Form 5 so that I can catch the video on NTV7 at 10am and 12pm. It’s like a magic potion, always continues to mark the top of my various top 10s themed charts.Maybe it's because the person who wrote this song was my personal favourite or maybe because the song is so melodically light that it hardly touches a riff when it touches your heart. For me, it mysteriously seems to fit under the “Top Ten Inspirational Songs”, “Top Ten Jiwa Berbunga Songs”, “Top Ten Songs I Want To Remembered By” (cewah.. nyampaaah.. perasan kan?), “Top Ten Songs My Husband Needs To Master”... I assure you that the list goes on and on.

I don’t know why but when I hear to that album, I often feel "young" and giggly again (haha! 22 years old is old). I can still remember the date I bought the album, 28th December 2002. That was around two months after my dad passed away. Besides my mother, siblings and my then-bf, that album managed to make me smile again. I know that seems like a huge statement but it did... Apparently, it took four men to sing to make me feel something again. At that time of life, almost nobody ever heard about V.E. They've just released that album in August and didn't really achieve the real limelight until probably when "Khayalan" (which was really only borderline good) was included into Extreme Pleasure Extra

After that, things just got from good to better in many frontiers for the now five piece group even when it meant they were to find their way independently. All the more, they did everything from scratch and reached what they've aspired for after quite a long wait. They didn't catapult to stardom just like that as assumed by many. Their journey was one of gradual achievements in musical endeavours and I see it from afar as someone keen enough to give attention, someone positive enough to accept a few disappointments, someone brave enough to continue expressing my interest (hehe..). "V.E For You" was V.E's first album and it did set a different vibe to them although it was a very safe release with most songs sounding like how V.E should be when I wished it was something of what they could be. Still, they bagged the best vocals at AIM which was a darn big thing and I still talk about it until today!

And because of this interest, I've also happened to know some of the wackiest people in town... People, we know who we are and don't try to deny it... hahahahahaha. The friendship we've built was based on this but I guess it bloomed into many more things. I'm glad I have got the chance to know you people and continue to learn new things with all of you.

So when the whole world starts bumping to the new sounds of discovery, I think I have been, still am and will probably still will be pretty content listening to V.E singing me Good Morning during the sunrise and finishing my day off with a lullaby telling me how it's gonna be a Good Night... regardless of whether it's 4 or 5 or 3.

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Be Sure To Catch This!

I tolerate The Beatles. I like The Beatles. I love The Beatles! I heart The Beatles!!!

Which ever one you are, be sure to catch this latest movie in the cinema called "Across The Universe" that is based on music by The Beatles. I wish my life is like The Beatles' music too but unfortunately, real life is hardly made up to be so dramatic. Owwh, wait... I think I have a song that summarises my life now.. "Help! I just need somebody, Help! Not just anybody... Help! You know I need someone, Help!"

Desperate Sangat Ke Ana?

It was kinda hot today so I decided to wear this really small and nipis baby-t which my mum bought for me to wear in summer before I came back to Sydney this year.. Because it has a picture of a cute bear holding a red, cushiony heart with the words "I Need Hugs and Kisses", it makes me think it was probably meant for kids sebenarnya thus I seldom wear it.. I guess only kids can get away with that degree of cuteness kot. I'm 22 and I don't really say that anyone except to my mum and nina. It's not that I do not appreciate my mum's taste but I guess I haven't been using it that often as somehow I knew I would get this from my "beloved" housemates...

N: Tak pernah nampak pun baju ni
Me: hurm, yeah... I seldom wear it..
N: "I need hugs and kisses".. desperate sangat ke kau ni, ana?
Me: wey, mummy bought thislaaa (my only defense and the truth, btw!)
N: hahaha... yelah tu
D: hahahaha... kelakoooo arrr...
Me: (makian berirama diselangi gelak tawa ria)
S: (smiles politely, probably at the degree of "humility" her housemates have)

I guess mum really does "know" best...

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Are We More Value Driven?

As I watch the media here in Australia and try to compare it to the ones in Malaysia, I usually achieve a clear distinction on two outstanding things. One is the degree to which Malaysian media stoop to constantly provide entertainment, entertainment, entertainment 24-7. Two, and the thing that interests me the most at the moment, is the direct openness of the Australian media that sometimes can be confronting.

I know that I’ve only been living here for two years and that is not long by any standards. But I think I have learnt the obscene power that media possess over the people who consume them. Here, the media, especially the current affair shows, blow up stories like “teenage running from home at 14 to have babies”, “woman wants to have 11 babies” and “grandmother forced to sell home because of mortgage crisis”. My very first reaction when I saw these news here was, SO WHAT? I think these things happen in Malaysia too but they are not on tv. So why the big fuss? But when I go on to think about it, I came to a realisation that behind the so-called strong values that Malaysians possess, we are actually so afraid of admitting our faults and mistakes or acknowledging the real condition of the society. So I can understand now why Edisi Siasat used to get a lot of “word-bashing” for their intake on current affairs and that’s not even 25% of the things said here. No wonder I used to think that Malaysia has no problems and that’s because we were never told so until things really get out of hands like when suddenly people start dumping babies in bins at large numbers, then it becomes newsworthy. If it’s just one or two in a month, it sort of appears that it’s the best for all to just keep it mum.

Still talking on values, I can assure that Aussies laugh the hardest at themselves, thus the success of shows like Kath & Kim, Summer Heights High and The Chaser’s War On Everything which are all a satirical view on the Australian perceived values of “mateship” and “fair-dinkum”. These shows make the people wonder about their values and drive them to question the way they live they life. Sure it’s entertainment but it’s embedding a whole lot more than it appears on the surface. On the other hand, I am almost certain Malaysians (including me) wouldn’t have the ability to constantly poke fun at ourselves and laugh at the not-so-ambiguous reflection on oneself thus we instead have the success of shows like Trek Selebriti, Melodi and Akademi Fantasia which are all a paradoxical representation of the Malaysian perceived values of righteousness and modesty. These shows drive people to become engrossed in something that are not theirs and make them drift in constant mindless entertainment. We become obsessed with everything beautiful and wonderful to shift the attention from the chronic issues of the society. In better words, we were never taught to think for ourselves.

What we see on Malaysian television are not us, the majority of people. So, I can only agree why new shows like “Kami” on 8TV should be a hit, it might be partly because a cute guy named Eizani (sigh!) and partly because it, indeed, attempts to represent a large part of the community and have subjects that really matter. So are Gol & Gincu, Datin Diaries (even if it’s a bit over the top yet it is largely a fair representation) and Realiti. We need more shows like the one initiated by The Hoppers and Ahli Muzik where Malaysian is the focus. We need more reliable documentaries like Majalah 3 which tells the story of Malaysia or to Malaysians. Yes, we need entertainment but we certainly do not need 15 reality tv shows a year. I’m sure the argument would be that “Well, we only air what the people wants to see”=consumer-provider relationship. But if you keep wondering why most people tune in to other optional international shows on the cable network, I think it should be self-explanatory by now.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Guess Who's Coming To Town?

OMARION! hehehe.. Yes, he is. So are Marques Houston (best known for Wonderful) and Avant.. They're going to be performing in Sydney Entertainment Centre on the 7th of November for the Get Served Dance Competition. Noice! How?? How?? Tempted nak pi ni... hehe

For tickets and more information, go to

In the meantime, The Black Eyed Peas are currently in town on a soft-drink promotional tour. They will be playing at an exclusive gig for some competition winners and the soft drink company. Be sure to bring those cameras handy in case you catch them cruising about in the coast..

Alicia Keys is also rumoured to come down in a short promotional tour. She will probably play in a small, intimate and exclusive gig organised by Sony-BMG as well as some special television promotions. I think it's safe to say Sunrise is one and I WILL wake up at 4 and catch the bus to Martin Place just to cheer her on. Well, I can pretend that I came all the way from Malaysia just to catch her, probably that would guarantee me a sure sight of her :p

I'm Feeling Minored

I just heard one of the best concerto in my life today. I personally think it's even better than Mozart's Clarinet Concerto in A Major! Yes.. yes.. I'm exaggerating but I was completely consumed into the mellow romantic tunes of Schumann's Piano Concerto in A Minor Op. 54 this morning that I really got distracted from the books I was reading. Before this, I've only heard one composition from Schumann which one will agree is his magnum opus, Carnaval. It is hard to explain the way I felt when I heard that piece but it moved my heart with every single bar it leaped. Profound stuff, it was. Well, I'm not a classical music enthusiast nor am I a music buff. I simply think I might be in love with a dead composer :p

Monday, October 29, 2007

Happy Birthday!!!

This past week has been a celebration of birthdays in my circle of friends... It is usually during this time of the year that you will come to realise how much you know (or do not know) about your friends' interest or view on life. And it also gives you the ultimate headache! Okay, let me give you an idea of how it works...

N celebrated her birthday on 20th. She has a loooot of handbags, hijabs and skirts so these three things seemed pretty much like the good things to give. You begin scouring for the best options in town but then again, you began to wonder if she can remember the presents we give her. Will it appear all the same? hurrrmmm... maybe not a good idea..

then you go on to things she seemed to don't really have because you never see her using them often like beads or shoes or books... but then you realise that she doesn't really use them because she probably finds it hard to find something she really likes.. What makes you think you can actually give her something she really likes that she'll wear it? See... it's confusing... but i think we finally got her the right thingslaaaa kan?

But then, you have people like D who also seem to have a looooooot of stuff but she sort of has a particular liking for a thing she hasn't had in a while. It was pretty easy to choose between a few options that we thought she would like and it was explicitly translated in her expression when she received it. Well, I'm sure that expression was genuine.. if not, :(

Yet, I think what matters the most on birthdays is essentially the company you have. I hoped both of my dear, dear friends had a great time on their BDay with me because I can assure you that I actually did. It was a great delight watching the two of you just "chiiiiiilllllllll".. hahaha :p

I Love It!

It's getting pretty hot nowadays in Sydney... Good, I need to get ready for Malaysia again right? I'm counting the days to be back in MySpace! I'm looking forward to late nights at the mamak and back at sipping teh tareks instead of mochas or lattes, munching roti canais instead of vegie sandwhiches, hitting the scene instead of peeking through and watching my family laugh in front of the tv instead of just hearing them... I'm loving it!

But with that, there will also be the less-anticipated awkwardness of seeing two familiar faces later. Catching them both at the same time would be somewhat inevitable too and I can only cross my fingers that I will not trip over for feeling completely overwhelmed. Well, sometimes we just gotta do what we gotta do if we want to be balanced. I'm determined not to become something I used to hate and for that, it might mean some broken "promises". (Damn, I wonder why I want to be sooooo cryptic? As if it can be brokenlah plak kan??) Hurrrmmm.. Not so loving it.

In conclusion, I love what I have now and I will hopefully love what awaits me in the future (Insya Allah). Point taken?? well, at least please do consider it :p


Ideally, this world is made and built on the foundation of democracy. Yet the question I ask myself after years of being served the notion of such freedom and togetherness is that in this world where power, greed and poverty can all exist in the same place, is democracy relevant at all or is it just a mantelpiece placed on the shelf of ignorance turned into ultimate bureaucratic bliss?

In the end of the past century, we have seen the demise of communist and socialist blocks that should implicitly mark the rise of democracy to dominate our platter of thoughts but being a concept not well confined within a limitation, democracy has certainly not been translated in the same way by all the willingly participating nations of the world. Let me just give one of the most easiest example.

United Nation. The nurturing pot of democracy as it represents the voice of all 192 countries internationally-recognised or accepted into the federation and that would be a whopping 98% of the world's states. The 5 most highly regarded nations (some for the very wrong reasons), China, USA, UK, France and Russia are members of the Security Council. Each has a veto power to undo or reject or object a proposition painstakingly conjured up with courage by the other 187 nation in just a single blow. The result? Russia says "no" to objecting Iran's nuclear plan due to their oil collaborations, China says "no" to putting a stop on open arms deal in Sudan because of the business deals they have in between them and USA says "yes" with carrying on with the plan to invade whoever/wherever they like.

So has revolution after revolution of democracy where the people's voice gets the attention actually lead to a sense of nothingness and reclusiveness of the privileged? When only 2% of the world's nations get to play with the fate of other 98% of hopeful others, it seems pretty darn clear how some of the biggest advocate of democracy themselves befall their own sacred ideology and thus, becomes one of the most idiosyncratic notion of the modern world. Sort of like having ducks saying they can and will fly. Believe them, they do! It's just that you're a little bit unfortunate that you'll never see them do so while you are alive.

On that account, I will have to say that I think Malaysia has one of the saddest democractic nation built on a very sheepishly configured racial distribution. We can never deny the fact most of the parties in the ruling united party were (are) racially inspired and that if one of the major three parties were to leave, a majority will not be guaranteed. Having parties driven by racial interest and preservation rather than a shared vision and mission that is encapsulated by a certain ideology is definitely one of the downside of Malaysian political scenario. Well, some might argue that we have different values than Western society but we should have become matured enough to educate people in making the right choice by deciding what's best for their country economically, socially and politically and not racially. Unfortunately in Malaysia, we do not even have much of a choice. The result? A sense of mere acceptance because nobody else can afford to offer a better option and the ruling party doesn't even need to struggle to ensure that they will have to come up with explicit,workable plans for the nation.

I'm not saying that everything needs to change. I'm not ignoring to acknowledge that democracy and discussion did work to overcome a lot of problems. But when practiced to suit a particular interest, it often fails to represent what it aspires and what actually truly matters. The People.

for more on the issue, join the discussion on

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Raya Raya Sydney

I know it's kinda late to do this and I'm doing this at this very,very "apt" time too (i.e 1.40am when I have a test coming up later in the day.. but then, who gives a dang right?) but I just thought I might share my potpouri of feelings.

*It was quite hectic even though we have been making preparations for eid about a week earlier. Most of the basic stuff for the cooking seesion were ready two days earlier but we still worked until the eleventh hour before the guests came for the small celebration we had on 1 Syawal*

*I'm grateful that I have these great housemates celebrating with me... They are the reasons why I actually felt happier for eid this year (compared to last year, of course). Thank You, Thank You, Thank You...*

*The eid solat was done within the given circumstances. I'm proud that my close friend was given the chance to read the khutbah. The only thing missing was probably the cokmar, eyh?*

*I finally received my baju kurungs on Friday (12th October). Was very delighted to see that my mum and siblings chose something that really suits me. Was a little bit disappointed to learn that one of the baju kurungs is tooooooo huge (it's a ready-made M, no wonder). Wore 4 traditional clothings in two days. Felt a little bit of overdoing it :p*

One of Four

*Couldn't reach my mum on the phone until around 1pm on 1 Syawal and was almost reduced to tears. Finally got through and all my uncles/aunts were sharing the ending of "Kerana Cintaku Saerah" with me on the loudspeaker... Our family is such a cliche*

*Loved Unit 38's Snow White Biscuits and Blackcurrant Jelly, Unit 37+36's Dalca and Ayam Merah, Unit 107's Rendang, Iffah+Syal+Zye+Izzati's Lidah Jin and Kuah Lodeh, Syikin+Amrien's Mama Carey Biscuits and Cheese Cake/Biscuits*

*We played the firecrackers without any guilt because it's LEGAL here... For once, we were the ones making noise that our neighbours practically came around to peek at us. I bet they thought we were making some bombs and stuff.*

*Gave some food to our chosen neighbours (obviously not the boofheads next-doors). The cute European guy who lives opposite us seemed genuinely touched that we included him in our feast... Well, if you're nice, of course we undoubtedly will treat you so too*

*We had guests coming on two separate days despite having prepared to only receive them with a feast on the first day. All the same, we were more than happy to have them in our humble home with the little things we can cook up. Hope you guys had a great time like we did*

*My 5 closest Malaysian friends (with Nina and Shah missing in the equation) paid a visit to my mum on Wednesday, 17th October. Nabil, Asraf, Amin, Wan and Khairiyah were served biskut samprit that was supposedly saved for me when I come home later (I doubt Nabil can resist the temptations to gooble it up), drank sirap and watched jutawan fakir. Yeah, all my three favourite raya things... The six of us+mummy talked on the loudspeaker for just 15 minutes and already we were talking about when Acap or Amin will get married. The conversation ended when we realised that we have left the pan on the stove for toooooo long and it's on fire!*

Two Of Four

Notes of Mine

Note 1:
My dear, dear friend... Hearing that you're not well makes my heart leap a beat. I care for you so much that being apart from you makes me often wonder how you're doing all the time. Do whatever the doc says and let me know anything that bothers you. Nothing is too small or big when it comes to you... You should know that.

Note 2:
My dear acquaintance... I know we're no one to each other but I happen to worry for your health... Do get well soon and take good care of yourself...

Friday, September 28, 2007

5 Years In Retrospective

If I ever looked back on my last 5 years living on this planet, sometimes I cringe with fear.. haha.. i've been throwing myself in compromising situation and got involved in some of the most stupidest stunts... some hurdles are best not attempted because you know it's not for the benefit for all human beings.

*It's been 5 years now since I last saw my arwah father... I miss him*

*My three teenage years local music flame (VE, Too Phat, RE) aren't even in the forms they used to be 5 years ago when they were either at their peak or rising stars... Too Phat is just Phat now (get it?), RE has changed ever since and I can't help but to respect (and wonder about) them for wanting to stay regardless of all the drama, VE??? the saddest of all.. let's just say we'll have to wait till this s**t gets official and I'll realise that all those time spent is "wasted"*

*Been in two terribly confusing relationships and break-ups. Well, considering that those were the only two I had, I think it's not fair to say that we can't trust our partners although some do run behind your back and do stuff you hope they don't. For once, I want (and need) to be the bad one*

* Jay Z has left and came back but only to make me curse him half-breathedly for continue singing about girls and ignoring what he used to do... and to think I've taken his words as truth*

* Climate change is felt tremendously in the last five years. Weathers get unpredictable and reach the ultimate extreme. Forests get burnt down (either man-made or naturally but obviously still man-initiated), the 26th December Tsunami took lives in numbers we never saw coming, the north pole has been melting in the fastest rate, La Nina, El Nino. Although a bit delayed, we are now coming to terms with the situation and facing the challenges*

*I've been in and out 4 different countries in these 5 years. Something I never thought possible once coming from the socio-economic background i belong to*

*The people I've discovered musically and spiritually have given me maturity far beyond my time 5 years back. I've came to appreciate there's art in everything, regardless of how they appear to me*

There's more in these five years than i can ever write but i've certainly found myself and who i want (and need) to be... Hopefully, in 5 years from now, i can smile looking back at today*

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Rebel With A Cause

It seems that whenever there is an international conference going on somewhere in this world (APEC, G-8 etc), the most dreaded (and anticipated) part of it is inevitably the protests, be it peaceful or forceful. But I often wonder the degree of their effectiveness. If it works and serves its purpose, why do we need so much of them and why does it occur over and over again? Is the way they are doing it that's causing all the wrong impressions on protesting?

Standing up and saying what you want in a dignified way ought to be the road to choose but I often hear that it's not the path that gets the attention. When you do things peacefully, you are taken as meek and not potent enough to fight your cause. Hurrmmm.. I don't think Gandhi was viewed as weak but instead, he was revolutionary when he fronted the British Empire and his fellow countrymen with a plea for everything to be done in peace. But then again, it's fair enough for someone to jump up right now and consume me with the fact that he was later shot by a fellow Brahmin for his "revolutionary" ways. History recalls that some of his counterparts who he must have slipped into believing had him gone for the very reason of him being too tolerant and not aggressive enough but it still didn't stop Pakistan from leaving India.

Although a few others were fairly successful like the Tienanmen Square protests (who can forget the image of one man standing against the army of tanks?) and Vietnam War protests, a lot other fails to open people's eyes about the real situation and causes. In a way, not many people want to be associated with violence and that route certainly creates some degree of detachment from the supposedly "fighting-for-the-people" organisations.

So does the cause permits you to choose any way possible to get your voice heard? I remember the biggest stunt pulled off by an organisation here is Sydney was painting "STOP WAR" on the Sydney Opera House's roof in blood red paint. They didn't get away with it easily as both of the men involved were fined with AUD200k each but in due time, they become known and their objective was achieved when people starting listening. Some might argue that they were only mere attention seekers and that they went overboard but does it matter much when in the end, they've achieved their purpose? Indirectly, it also raises the question of insufficient platforms for people to get their voice heard. I mean, of course a few bucket of paint would cost less than airing advertisements on primetime when people just flip channels to watch something more useful anyway. Plus, not everyone has the taxpayers money like the government ;p

In a slightly more subtle but no less "aggressive" manner, we have people posing nude for what they believe is a campaign for championing certain rights. For example, the ads for PETA campaigns. I mean, some of us don't even remember what the ads are for but we tend to remember who was nude (Christy Turlington, Alicia Silverstone etc). So does it work then or PETA is just another organisation that exploits human for animals? (God, the irony of it!). Wanting people to turn and look at you might be hard enough for some but when it becomes too easy, people do not remember you for reasons you want them to... I'm not saying that all of their campaigns are wrong but having nudity to promote an idea does seem a little vulgar although I understand that this value is very much influenced by my personal values and that the ad might work for some other target audience.

So is it just the perception of it or a certain amount of aggressiveness does really get things going? It's amazing how people want others to believe in their values and way of life so bad that they resort to some unthinkable measures.Well, it striked me because this idea doesn't resonate with the whole concept of humanity in the first place but humanity is a symbol of man wanting to be the same and equal. Do we all want to? One thing I know for sure, all these protesters have an aim to achieve and sometimes, it can mean pushing the envelope to see how far it goes.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Apakah Salah Beta?

Sometimes, people get on your nerves simply for being who they are.. I easily get annoyed when I open my e-mail and discovered that people decided to send me a whole bunch of forwarded stuff. Seriously, I think sometimes we are the nosiest bunch of people on planet earth...

I can't quite understand why people think I would be interested to know if fauziah latiff has a dog or malaysian artists like to hit clubs. Dude, seriously... get a life and do other beneficial stuff than going through these people's private webpages and downloading their pictures before spreading them around. If there is a sick person, it's you who have been compiling all of these information so that you appear noble... Yes, some of them can get pretty obnoxious but you might well know by now, these so called artistes are not the only ones doing all these things that disgust you so much.

If you really want to prove a point, make it by showing other things can prosper in Malaysia rather than the phenomenon of screaming for schlocky singers in the reality TV shows. In a society where we have more than enough traditions and culture to be proud of, don't make the so-called-immoral-behaviour of a selected few as the face of our nation because when you give it so much attention, it proves that it is so important and somewhat, acts as a pinnacle of the society. These people do what they do best on the screens, reels and screech for us so cut them some slack on what they do after that. Instead, try to make education and/or sports the benchmark of our success. Until we can do that, don't come running with those e-mail of your self-righteousness...


I'm an avid fan of the chaser's... I don't necessarily think that they're really funny. Sometimes the joke can get on them when it appears that they're trying too hard. But their bravery to do the unthinkable gets me on the edge of my seat sometimes and those skits they do, my god.. let's just say that they are the ones most of the Australian politicians and celebrities do not look forward to meet someday... But they're the most watched series by white collars and blue collars in Australia. Says a lot doesn't it?

Well, the APEC security scare stunt was probably one of the best they have done but sadly, the clip is not available on youtube... so some of you might miss out on what these guys are really on about. So, I'll just describe it succinctly for you. Chas (who is always been asked to do the dirtiest jobs) got dressed up like an Afghan (or what they would call like a "terrorist")and got into a limousine to impostor the Canadian motorcade. Suprisingly, they got through 2 check points at the red zone that is completely off limts to any civilians.

In a security zone that has been locked down in a 3 metre height and 5km long fence, they managed to get as far as the most secured zone (ie the hotel where Bush was living in). The boys realised that they went too far and decided to pull out before entering more check points and possibly just granted access regardless of the lack of security passes. Ican just imagine the looks on the policemen faces when they saw a man dressed up like that stepping out of the car and greeting them. Well, so much for 150 million taken of the tax payers' money just to let anyone with a motorcade pass by...

The next day, the Sydney police commisioner came out with a statement saying, "Well, the chaser's might think they're funny but they're not"... well, they say jokes get unfunny when you're the butt of it.. hehehehehe. The chaser's made it into CNN and BBC making them the biggest comodity out of the APEC summit... I'm proud of them :)

just for a taste of what the chaser's are all about, i got a few clips of my personal favourites... enjoy

The APEC Security Scare

The News Report on The Chase


i have been losing the inspiration to write nowadays.. i wonder if it's due to the unavailability of Internet in my room for quite sometime.. or is it due to the inadequacy of being faraway from my mother.. or maybe the void i feel inside of me for not being able to see you who i have been thinking about terribly regardless of all those things that happened... or maybe for not talking to nina for 2 weeks... or feeling missed out in nabil's life.. or wishing there was more rain in the morning.. or reminiscing on the way i lived my life all this while...

but then again, shouldn't all those things give me some inspiration if not a whole lot of them? i often catch myself being surprised by my own thoughts... obviously i have been babbling the whole while... thank you for your concern and time, though :)

Saturday, September 08, 2007

Ini Ke?

Saya berasa simpati dengan pakaian yang terpaksa dikenakan oleh setiap ketua negara yang menghadiri Persidangan APEC 2007 di Sydney.

Memandangkan Australia mungkin tidak mempunyai pakaian rasmi atau kebangsaan yang boleh dibanggakan, mereka mengambil keputusan untuk menjadikan pakaian yang dikenali sebagai "driza-bone coat" atau "outback raincoat" sebagai baju rasmi semasa sesi mengambil gambar pada hari kemuncak persidangan. Kalau anda sukar untuk melihat gambar yang kecil itu, bayangkan saja baju hujan berwarna kelabu dengan calitan warna-warna bernama eksotik seperti "eucalyptus green" pada kolar dan saya rasa anda boleh mendapat imej yang saya cuba katakan ini.

Teman-teman serumah memang sudah lama tertunggu-tunggu untuk melihat baju kebangsaan Australia kerana kami jelik mendengar komen pembaca-pembaca berita dan komentator yang menyatakan "Owh, pastinya pakaian rasmi kami tidak akan kelakar seperti baju China atau Vietnam"... Hurrrrrmmmm... nampaknya, Australia kalah besar kali ni. saya rasa bukan hanya kami yang bukan warga Australia sahaja yang rasa "baju rasmi" tu merupakan lawak terbaik yang Australia pernah lakukan pada tahap antarabangsa. Kiranya, inilah lawak antarabangsa dalam erti kata sebenar...

Tapi Perdana Menteri Canada (gambar di atas) berjaya pula tampil kacak dalam baju yang berjaya dalam misi untuk menenggelamkan hampir kesemua delegasi lain (ye, sultan hassan al-bolkiah juga tidak segak dalam kot ni). Saya rasa mungkin sebab dia mengenakan topi "koboi" yang berkesan dalam mengurangkan kejanggalan "outback jacket" itu.

Jadi, lain kali jangan gelakkan negara orang lain. Walaupun negara mereka mungkin tampil kurang "maju" berbanding negara anda, sekurang-kurangnya mereka tidak perlu pening kepala untuk memikirkan perkara yang tampak kecil tapi membawa impak besar ini.

batik... owh.. batik... nasib baik, kami ada batik :p

Name Dropping

There are people we know, people we know through people we already know, people we wish we knew, people who knows us from afar, people who needs to be known...

But it makes me wonder a lot when people drop famous names like they twirl around the "scene" being really important. Owh, he had a crush on me.. Owh, we used to date... Owh, he's my fling... Owh, this.. Owh, that.. Owh, my foot!

It doesn't matter what or who you date and know. it's who you are and how you appear to the world. To me, you sound ridiculously intwined in fantasies.

It's best I remind myself not to turn into this...

Saturday, September 01, 2007

A Self Reminder

Sometimes, it startles me when people say that I'm a nice, goody two shoes girl. It creates a grain of fear in me that someday, I might disappoint these people who think so although I may say that I did not force them to believe it in the first place.

I mean, how would you define nice? If it's loosely captured by not drinking, no heavy partying, no smoking, no drug abuse and the likes of apparent "bad" behaviour, then I'm probably a nice person. But if nice is realised by always being kind no matter the situation, never having a bad thought about someone, never talk bad behind someone's back or always prioritising everybody else before me, then I'll have to pass on the "Good Award."

I wish that I can always be the good daughter to my mother, the good sister to my siblings, the good friend who my friends need, the good student my teachers adore, the good teacher my students adore. Amin.

Around The Pineapple Under The Sea

It's something like this...

*john and stevie sings me to sleep every night*
*time is only a concept heard before but never proven*
*toasts are never burnt*
*dogs are myths*
*lollypops are given out when you got to school*
*all the wayan brothers make me laugh until i cry*
*books are actually made to be read*
*we all fall in love with each other*
*everybody can swim any style they want to as long as they want to*
*as jay z is with beyonce, joe flizzow is with dayang (get it?)*
*everybody loves coffee*
*giraffes, koalas, pandas, iguanas and the fishes (tobi & vega) all play together in my backyard*
*no day is the bad hair day*
*cartoons are on 24 hours a day*
*soccer and rugby are played all day long*
*cars float at 60kmph*
*music makes the world spin around*

food galore

Some people scream when they realise that assignments are due only two weeks from now. Some might even cry... But not us. We had a panic attack so we decided to make a dish that appears to be a cross between sushi and kimchi (asian sungguh!). This can serve up to 10 normal human beings or 6 of people like me.

What you need:
1) a bowl of cooked rice mixed with two teaspoons of sesame oil (teaspoon, durra. it's only teaspoons ;p)
2) an ommelete (2 eggs)
3) a medium sized carrot (sliced into thin semi-circles)
4) 10 seaweed strips
5) pickled radish (the yellow thing in the picture)
6) a medium sized canned tuna (any flavour that suits you)

The steps are like the picture sequence.. I can't be bothered to type while watching White Chicks, can I? haha...

*put a generous amount of rice on the rough side of seaweed*

*place the tuna on the neatly placed carrots.. we used curry tuna, sweet chili tuna, lemon and cracked pepper tuna but don'tlah put them altogether in one roll*

*after rolling them, you'll have to put some water on the edges of the seaweed so that they can stick to each other*

*patiently slice them into considerably cute sizes.. i love them cute.. hehe*

Canned Fashion

Fashion might be an ever-changing affair for some. Trends come and leave like the clothes we change on our back everyday but just like those clothes, we repeat them with a different twist just for a slightly different look the next time. When we know (or think) people are not watching, we decide that on Friday, we can wear the exact same top and jeans we wore on Monday.. You know, because you think people are not watching...

That’s how the current fashion trends are too. While fashion gurus are saying boho is so 2004, the not-so-new line of foho clothings (who came up with such names?) seem to dominate the runways and sideways. And foho is actually sneakily simply boho with a little more glamour, you’ll just wear that boho mini frock with the embroidery details at the hems with a 3 inch heeled, knee length suede/leather boots instead of flat pumps or flippers and add some large gaga gold/silver accessories instead of beads. Wallah! boho to foho in uno momento.. They say it’s the clash of the decades, 70s meets 80s… I say it’s a case of ideas running dry and quick ways of finishing old stocks.

But of course, there’s an upside to it when you can quickly recycle anything you have the wardrobe without having to fear being called outdated or backwards in your fashion sense. I reckon you can pretty much get away with anything if you’re a fohemian. (my penaakulan mantik sorts out that boho comes from bohemian.. so foho must be a fohemian, right?). You’ll be just fine when you can actually explain how the clashes of the decades theory work…

Another thing is how the word “vintage” has been passed of as something that happens almost immediately. Vintage this, vintage that… Even a bag that has just been made yesterday is said to have a vintage value and that kind of defeats the whole purpose, doesn’t it? Vintage stuff are supposed to be collectable rares, not something you simply buy in a flea market and decide, “hey, that’s surely a vintage.” Well, not in my dictionary of cracked wisdom, at least. And please, please don’t let me get started on those unkindly revisiting puffy puffed sleeves. I mean, ever since Louis Vuitton had them for the Spring 2007 collection, everybody is going crazy over it when it’s actually translated into hideous for most of us.

Well, us being us would mean nothing if we just blindly follow these fashion critics and advocates, especially when most of them will say long maxi dresses are going to be IN next season when Eva Mendes, Jennifer Lopez and Jessica Alba all happen to wear them on the same week but hey, hey, turn around another fortnight from when that article was written and you’ll have the same writers swearing by their mothers that next season is going to be the leg worshipping lovers land of super micro-minis. And consider yourself very lucky if we are not rendered with other opinions and options the coming weeks because most of the time, they'll be repaying all those freebies dropping by their glossy office doors while you split your head into half trying to figure out which is which.

So my humble opinion is that you need to check out those fashion tips but really, you need to dress like how you feel and how you want to be comfortable. Don’t just succumb to what other people suggest blindly because suggestions can be a mile long and for all you know, nothing suits you. You know you can just make up a name like all those designers do and pepper them into your statements… I mean, hello! They’re humans too. Hurrrmmm… I think I’ll just call mine no-hoe! Self-explanatory, eyh?

The New Wonders!

I've been fascinated by the new 7 wonders of the world announced on 07.07.07, if I'm not mistaken. I'm thrilled because 4 of the ones I voted for made it to the list. Not bad eyh?

1) Great Wall of China- simply magnificient, tunggu saya tahun depan ;p (voted for)

2) Chichen Itza, Mexico- the gorgeous mayan temple but this is among my least favourite winner.

*image from*

3) Christ Redeemer, Brazil- situated in Rio De Janeiro, it's more of a greeting and warm acceptance symbol than it is of a religious one.

4) Taj Mahal, India- if only everybody do fall in great love (voted for)

5) Machu Picchu, Peru- It's amazing how people of ancient civilisation could build a masterpiece in the middle of nowhere (somewhere near the Andes in the Amazon jungles) (voted for)

*image taken from*

6)Petra, Jordan- my favourite winner, the red stone material and carved structure is of an entirely different level (voted for)

*image taken from*

7) Colloseum, Italy-- it's an artful place made for a ruthless sport

The other three I voted for are:

1)Hagia Sophia, Turkey- for the very, very complicated history of the monument. It was first built as a church by the Byzantines before converted into a mosque by the Ottoman Empire in the 1500. It remains so until it was recently turned into a museum. Much disputes have been casted to claim the ownership of the building by several concerned parties and just by looking at it, I can see why.

*image taken from*

2)Stonehenge, UK- biaselah, things like this are worth being in the list.. haha

3)Pyramids of Giza, Egypt- self loving leaders, utmost worshipping of human being, sheer waste of revenues on symbolism... history tends to repeat itself in a vicious cycle and it's fun to see how long it would lead us on.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Laugh If You Can

I am in some desperate need to share what is in my head.. I wonder what some of the shows on tv will be called in Malay Language if I were to become a producer. I obviously had too much time to myself (and durra). Help me pick a winner, will you? ;)

Anda Rasa Anda Boleh Menari?
Isteri Dan Anak-Anakku
Semua Orang Sayang Raymond
Surirumah Terdesak
Ayat Siapa Sebenarnya Ni?
Penyiasatan Kawasan Jenayah
Minda Penjenayah
Dapur Jaime
Putera Segar Dari Bel Air
Betty Yang Hodoh (kejam sangat kan?)
Pecah Penjara
Bukit Satu Pokok
Pembisik Hantu

waaaaa... i ought to stop being so random

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Untuk Kali Ke-22

Untuk Muhammad Nabil Nor Kamal buat kali ke-22... Terima Kasih Atas Semuanya. Aku rasa aku tak dapat nak katakan betapa bertuahnya aku mempunyai kawan seperti kau. Aku tak terbilang berapa kali kaulah orang yang mengangkat aku bila dunia ni tampak seperti tak berpihak pada aku... Untuk semua itu dan lebih lagi, Selamat Hari Jadi dan moga Allah pastikan kita sentiasa kekal sebagaimana kita sekarang..

You're the friend, you're the rock,
For each problem, you're the helping hand,
You're my only refuge on this vague land,
I want to dedicate all these shining lamps,
And make you see how much you count,
In my life, yes, you define a steady ground,
Like Tupac and Jada we will lead beyond crime,
We will move forward across all the rhymes,
And spark all the love we have in our minds,
Transform it into books to fight hatemines,
For this tie we have in between us is,
True as we would see in specks of time...

The Lima

been tagged again.. this time by cik alin lalalala

5 things found in my bag
[ purse ]
[ handphone ]
[ lip gloss ]
[ earphone ]
[ sunglasses ]

5 things found in my wallet
[ money ]
[ mummy's picture]
[ fifi's picture ]
[ atm card ]
[ student/library card ]

5 favorite things in my room
[ my pc]
[ my cds ]
[ the altar]
[ my bed ]
[ my wardrobe ;p]

5 things i’ve always wanted to do
[ visit Venice ]
[ buy a bigger house for mummy]
[ have dinner with Thierry Henry & Mos Def ]
[ watch Jay Z or John Legend perform live]
[ gain more weight ]

5 things i'm currently into
[ US' The Office ]
[ dips and crackers ]
[ old school tunes ]
[ Common's Finding Forever ]

5 people i'm going to tag
[ nina-mesti sudi ]
[ tasha-kalau sudi ]
[ lynnz-kalau sudi ]
[ betty-kalau sudi ]
[ syada-buat2 sudi ]

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Pukul 1 Pagi

It's 1.42am and it's really cold. My dumb ass neighbours on two different parts of the area (one in front the house and the other at the back)just had to play some drinking games now and wake up the entire Macquarie University Village. Let me assure you that this is definitely not the first time things like this has happenned. I feel like I'm living in some fraternity college I only saw on tv before I came here.

And this may be caused by the same neighbours who stopped me while I was on the way to class last thursday and insisted on getting to know Unit 82 better because "you need to love your neighbour because without love, nothing would exist. if you're good to me, i'll be good to you"

I guess you have just lost the right for me to be good to you. Tak guna muka je comel kalau perangai cam hantu...