Thursday, December 28, 2006

Malaysia Best!!

Malaysia best.. takde tandingan...

Loving each and every second of my stay here...

Tak nak balik sydney

Monday, November 27, 2006

Most Sexiest (2)

After much consideration and thought, I feel obliged to add a few other people into my list.. So, let's make it 20 (syada, i have to acknowledge these people too). In no designed order, we will continue with the quest...

1) Ashton Kutcher- Toy Boy or not, he's hot!

2) Will Smith- now who didn't have a crush on the Fresh Prince of Bel Air?? No matter how ridiculous the fashion was... and the haircut too... Jada pinkett is one damn lucky woman

3) Lionel Messi- He's a minor, yes but a legend already... a genius who's now deprived from contributing to Barcelona for injuries yet still a gem to the Argentinians.

4) Prince Frederik- aduh, perfect sungguh lelaki nie. A prince who looks like a normal bloke when he chooses to and truly the nation's pride. the fact that he chose to marry a non-royal woman whom he is truly in love with showed that he is necessarily the "dreamed about man" of the 21st century... kiss a frog, girls

5) Adrien Broody- the crooked nose just adds to the magic. The pianist is renowned for kissing halle berry at the Oscars but he also has a bad boy reputation.. but he looks so niceeeeeee (how can that be??)

6) Raphael Nadal- another minor... the way he sways, damn!

7) Jonathan Rhys Meyer- Irish Cream... defines smoothness (thank God that he has gained some weight since Bend It Like Beckham)

8) Joaquin Phoenix- as hard it is to spell his name, he has to be one of the most talented and sexiest man on the silver screen. Something about that piercing stare...

9) Pete Murray- Hold on now, your exit's here... it's waiting just for you

10) John Legend- how can I forget to include my Eclairs???

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Most Sexiest...

Since the People's mag has just come up with their list of 100 sexiest men, I feel that i could list down ten people (in no particular order) who I think are sexy.. Sexy itu relative kan?? huhu

1)Johnny Depp- that thin, lanky posture.. that grinnish smile, that wacky attitude, that loving father character, that good looks... the owner of Viper Room.. cukup dah

2)Mos Def- comeeeeeeeelllll sangat that smile.. i love that scruffy look that he has.. that masculine lines on his face... hot! his music is defining, his words are sincere and i love the movies he's featured in. Kalau abang Dante masuk meminang, saya terima sekarang juge.. hehehehehehehe

3)Sean Connery- he oozes sexy through his veins, man! definitely the best Bond in my book. Funny how i can like an old man who likes to walk around in his kilt..

4)Wentworth Miller- the reason why i find prison now attractive.. kalau ex-convict pun comel macam nie, takde pusing kiri-kanan dah...

5)Josh Hartnett- aduh, badannya itu... takdelah muscular sangat but boyishly tough... very admirable. not to mention that excellent acting skills

6)Lah Ahmad- Okay, probably not sexy but definitely one of the cutest people in my list. jangan tanya apa-apa lagi...

7)Shah Rukh Khan- huuuuuuuuuuu.... one of the earliest crush of my life. Umur 11 tahun dah gilekan SRK ni. Teringat poster2 yang bersepah itu... mana ye???

8)Eminem- psychotic choice but damn, i love those blue eyes and the tattoos. I rarely like tatts but those of his daughter and his cousin is really heartfelt... That boyish look helps too and the music used to be awesome (thus reduces the degree of his demented mind)

9)Beyonce Knowles- the only female on my list.. but i'm still pretty much normal (and straight). I love the way she approaches her sexuality, she doesn't appear slutty although she wears things that bare almost everything.. Plus she's actually the sweetest thing you'll ever come across. Class, Looks and Talent in a complete package

10)Pharell Williams- mamat N.E.R.D ni., from my point of view, is gorgeously plain.. I mean, there's something about him that's unusual, in a way, almost exotic.. he has the Chinese or Melanasian look but he's trapped in a owh-so-bodalicios-African American body... Cuteness defined in a array of genius music making too...

saya nak tag Nisa, Syada, Alin, Tasha, Fariza, Wanee dan reramai lagi untuk meneruskan pencarian orang2 seksi anda.. hehehehehehehe

The Perfect Crime

Have you been watching the box excessively lately??? Okay, I admit it.. I've been. That's why I need to get this out of my system.. What's with the flood of crime shows on the telly?? Let me try to list down those I can remember: CSI NY, CSI LV, CSI Miami, Criminal Minds, The Closer, SVU, Criminal Intent, Law&Order, StandOff, Bones, Prime Suspect, The Bill, Blue Heelers and so on and so forth. I mean, every channel you tune in during the prime time will definitely show some kind of Crime Series that ranges from "Marvellous TV" to "what the crap??".. It's like you can't run away from them, they wanna haunt you, you gotta watch them, you're gonna have to pick one or die..

*what's with the exageration, ana?? internal locus of control, please*

Yeah, i know that people will argue that "you're not suppose to be intellect when you watch TV, hence the fact that your brain is more active while you're sleeping compared to when you're watching the idiot box"... okay, fine enough but don't i deserve to watch quality tv at night when i've been "consistently" studying all day and going to clasess and all?(i like the use of the word "consistently" there.. hehehehehehe).

I think all the criminal minds (hey, that's one of those series with Mandy Patinkin in it) out there will definitely benefit something from these shows.. Why, you ask? well, if they have already crafted a plan, they will have to check in these shows whether the plan will work or not.. If someone has used it, probably you will have to make slight changes to it.. Something that Enche Grissom will not have the brains to solve.. Or what's more helpful, have a checklist.. "Puncture with skewers to drown the lung slowly?" checked, "Kill with penicillin and wrap with plastic before hiding the body in an ATM machine?" checked, "Seduce the victim into taking their own life and legally declare it "euthanasia".. priceless... see, these crime shows are actually giving me ideas and encouraging the psychopath side of me to think and develop ways that the crime could be improved, thus come across as clean..

Which actually brings us to the issue, can you actually get away with a perfect crime?? I just watched the 1960's version of Ocean's Eleven last weekend (aduh, Frank Sinatra sangat comeeeeelllll- syada nak rebut jugelah tu) and the crime was perfect except for the fact that the crime was a waste of time. Perfectly crafted, perfectly and precisely carried out, but the money ended up ,literally, burnt in a coffin box after a miscalculation. Moral of the story: think more carefully and don't depend on circumstances. So, crime can be perfect?? Is it???

Monday, November 06, 2006

Segmented Mind


*The fact that Australia is such a sporty country.. there's always some sport to watch on TV. Rugby, tennis, soccer etc. (sincerely...)

*The weather now... very coldies punye.. hehehehehe. good for hybernating purposes

*The dhall curry i cooked with durra the other day.. I feel vain saying it but damn, that was good. Teringat my mum's version. Boleh dah bukak kedai mamak kat sydney (with nisa in charge of curry, durra with roti paratha, tasha buat air, syada basuh pinggan, fariza amik order and lap meja, harvin jadi performer lagu hindi)

*The old school and motown mood in the air- aretha franklin (angel.. angel.. angel), marvin gaye, temptations, smokey robinson, supremes, human nature, stevie wonder, isley brothers, beatles, bob marley, barry white, luther vandross, james brown, chaka khan (to name a few).. seriously goes well with the weather too.

*There's less than a month to go back!!!! Yeah!!!! The countdown continues, my friends...

*The sociolinguistics assignment has been handed in... huhu! I miss the library already

*Rod Lane walked with me after class.. Saje nak initiate perbualanlah tu. Although he just had the guts to "tell" me about his wife on that day.. cis!

*The solitude i'm learning to cope with... no longer permanent

*Chatting with Nina and talking on the phone with her excessively for the past few days. A friend, a gem...


*The delay with the allowances.. udah broke abih aku neh!

*The fact that there's no more tutorials after this week.. Actually, i really enjoyed the tutorials these last few weeks. Verna or no Verna...

*The whole storm about the Melbourne Cup and Flemington Race... anyway, what's up with the head dresses?? believe me, it's like watching the scene in My Fair Lady where Eliza gets introduced by Mr Higgins to the upper class... You know, that silly black and white fashion debacle. That's how it looks like minus the decency and up-tightness (except the people under the Emirates, Motorola and Myers tent, of course)

*People bitching about you right in front of you across the room.. huuuuu.. hangin satu badan. Kekadang, i feel there's no use being nice to evil kenevil people...

*The machines in the laundry room not functioning accordingly.. cepatlah install new machines with the coin slot tu... then bolehlah complain selalu if it's broken.

Couldn't Comprehend...

*The choices of movies that the free tv channels select for the weekend... Scorpion King, Con Air, School of Rock, Planet of the Apes (old school punye).. is there a theme of barbaric sentiments going on??

*Why is the LING253 test called a test when you can discuss about the test in a group of 15 people, gets tutored about what to write and basically everybody chooses to write about the same thing??? probably because we scored terribly in the other tasks..

*The whole fiasco about the comment made by the Imam of Lakemba Mosque... things taken out of context usually "does sound stupid"

*John Howard's policy over the Kyoto Article, a Global Warming memorandum... his reluctance to sign the memorandum because "australia is asked to do more things than most other countries and that's not fair" is a silly remark, of course considering the fact that Australians leaves more ecological prints than most other developed and developing countries' citizens (they're number 6 in the recent WWF report)

*What if Madonna wants to adopt?? At least she's doing something.. If she skips the list because she has more money and power, let's think from this point of view: can we grant the life that Madonna probably can for the kid?? And why fuss over that issue??? Blame the beaurecratic procedure that takes you, and not Madonna or Ange, longer to adopt...

*Why did Axle Whitehead do that at ARIAs??? Giler sengal.. Dude, nobody wants to see your pathetic b**ls

Monday, October 30, 2006

I Miss My Daddy...

29 October 2002... It has been 4 years since the day my father passed away. I felt his lost ever since and i missed him every single day. My daddy, the man who brought me up and made me partially who I am today. He used to be my moon as my mummy is my sun.

I remember how he used to have two jobs just to get us by. He was only 21 years old when he married my mum, despite the disapproval of his family (partly because he was still young and also because my mum is a muslim). He and my mummy lived the life of the young while we were growing up and treated us as friends instead of children. He fancied making and playing kites, bikin his Honda Accord which he changed for a Grand Vitara as we were growing up, watching old Tamil, Malay and English movie, collecting EPs and vinyls... And of course, the occasional skating (old school style)

When we were kids, people used to say that my mummy and daddy were out on a date and one of them had to bring their "siblings" (ie us, the kids) to tag along on the date.. hihi. We lived a modest life yet never once have i doubted that he loved us very much even though he was not always able to give us what we wanted. Although at times, i complained about the simplicity of our life but he tried very hard. When he pushed us to our limits, it was because he wanted us to lead a different, if not a better, life than he did.

I was not ready to lose my daddy when he passed away at a young age of 39... He suffered from a medical condition called neuropathy where his muscle is no longer able to rebuilt the dead cells. He slowly lost the ability to walk and then to use his hands, then eventually his heart muscles will also lose the ability to pump blood through his body system... It was hard watching his condition deteriorate day by day and my mummy stayed strong along the way. I saw how much my mummy loved my daddy through those time and never did she lose faith that he would get better even though the doctor "cordially" said that there is no cure for this disease yet...

Till this very day, sometimes I question why did he have to go so early.. sometimes, i blame him for making me miss him too much, for making my mum go through a harder life, for making my little sister lack a paternal affection all through her life... But then, I look up to the sky and realise that he is living a better life there... God loved him, more than we do. Tears stream down my eyes as I recited prayers for him lately... Four years and you are still very much alive in our heart and memory.

May Allah bless your soul always and love you as much as you loved your children since we were little until you left us.. Amin

Whenever I hear this song, i cannot help but to remember you, daddy.. God knows I love you, no matter what.

These are the times...

This month has been a bumpy ride altogether... I just took my EDUC265 assignment and let me assure you that it has just made my day crashed down... The worst grade I ever got... I was like, WTF??? I just knew that I've screwed up big time... I'm trying to be positive but there's nothing positive about the grade.. Kenapakah hidupku semakin miserable nie???

At this moment, I just wanna pack up my bag and get on the next plane back home... Nothing else is able to make me feel better...

Well, they say that you can never reach the top if you haven't got to the rock bottom... *positive*positive*

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Love And Teh Tarik

Have you ever came across a Malaysian who genuinely doesn't like the taste of a nice warm teh tarik??? Not that they can't consume it but they just don't like it??? Hurmmm... they exist but they are a very rare species indeed. Just like the rare species of people who doesn't fancy being in love. Well of course, teh tarik, like love, is everywhere and found at every corner of the Malaysian land yet they are also getting overshadowed by the emergence of lattes and mochas... But does it mean that it is getting less significant in our lives or the other alternatives are just options to forsake something that's always been in our blood??

Notice that a cuppa teh tarik goes anytime in a daily basis, be it for breakfast to start your day or for a late nite supper with friends after battling it up in a futsal game. It never goes wrong on your taste buds and it will never burn your tongue too (hence the purpose of tariking it, get it?)... Hurmm, but in some cases, the mamak will accidently (ye ke?) give you a glass that is either too hot or too cold. Having ordered it already and not wanting to be fussy, you patiently wait the hot one to cool down or just gulp down the cold one with frustration in your heart going "damn, i should've gone to the other joint instead of this one... kenapalah aku ikut depa nie ha?"... Is it a wrong choice made or it's just pure poor luck that you have to settle down with that glass? Of course there is a choice of exchanging the glass for another one and crossing your fingers that the mamak doesn't do something nasty to your new glass... Dare? Then you swear to yourself that you'll never order another teh tarik when you join the same crowd here. More extreme, never to set your foot there again and spread the word of "wisdom" about the joint for the crime of offending the art of making teh tarik :P

On a different scope, do me a favor by choosing a food that goes wrong with teh tarik... Almost none, i reckon. Even a risotto tastes incredibly delicious matched with teh tarik... That's how flexible it is. Yet it definitely has one food that is THE match for your personal taste, be it a plate of maggi goreng or a puffed crispy roti canai. Just like the case where every other mamak joint or a five star hotel offers a variety taste of teh tarik that is up to your choice to covet for. Can you stand enjoying a glass of wonderfully blended teh tarik alternated with the stench of smoke from automobiles at the road stall that has rodents playing hide and seek around it or would you rather compromise the taste for a simpler one served at an air-conditioned restaurant... Again, the choice is entirely yours to make and having made it, yeah, you can change it anytime you like but the question to ponder upon then is whether you can face the change and relive the taste as you once had.

And teh tarik is all about balance and getting the distinction that naturally separates it in its own class... You have to get the bitterness and sweetness well seamed that you can't tell what's so special about it yet it is so significant to be programmed as the best in your brain... The next thing you know, you'll be coming around every now and then, fetching for the same cup, savouring over it as if it is, indeed, the pleasure like no other God has granted to give you on Earth. And when you get the wrong cup that either is too sweet or too bitter for you, you'll shake your head and say "uh uh.. that ain't my cup of tea" literally. And when you had too many of the wrong ones, you'll then just give up and switch to a glass of OJ instead all the time... Imagine if that goes wrong too...Yup, life can be more surprising than we'd ever thought before, ain't it? Plus, teh tarik can also go wrong for people who are on diet who will soon have to discover that the teh tariks they had just helped to lower their metabolisme rate...

On many angles, teh tarik, like love, can be foreseen as a passion that makes you ride high and low. For some even, it's the love-hate realtionship. You can't stand it when it's around and it gives you terrible migraine too. But you long for it when you haven't been igniting your senses with its strong and sensuous sting for a while. It makes you make the hard decisions in life and it also suggests that life can be more than just half the glass if you tried hard enough to search for it and sacrifice along the way while you're at it... Just keep in mind that you can never have too much of teh tariks in your life... and so applies about love.

*if you feel like you've read this, you probably did.. hehehe*

Saturday, October 21, 2006

The Men who make me laugh!

Hamish Blake and Andy Lee

Hamish "uno" Blake (L) and Andy "bruce" Lee

Two seriously funny, funny men.. Hamish and Andy are soooooo damn comel. People who watch Thank God You're Here as religiously as I do would definitely know what I mean and damn, they can really tickle me silly. Plus, the cult show "Real Stories" which got really good review also managed to capture the essence of real comedy infused in what is called "the 5th best current affair show in Australia".. hahahaha.. Naomi Robson of Today Tonight and Tracy Grimshaw of Current Affair should watch this and realise how nonsical their shows really are.

Hamish and Andy met at the University of Melbourne before deciding that they should become partners in crime and reign the radio talkshows before moving on to TV shows. Andy Lee was also Cleo's Eligible Bachelor for 2006 (as you can see why...) here is my favourite snippet from Real Stories

Grounded For Life


Lately, i've been feeling very, very unstable.. Don't really know why... Not really sure how i got to this stage... Is it being far from the people i love and care for?? Is it because i think i'm just not doing good enough?? At times, I think and feel that i'm selfish, in fact, very selfish. I want all the attention on me, perhaps... but come to think of it, kenapa pulak nak give me all the attention? probably because I give all my attention to you... I'm not getting myself, so don't worry.. My mind is in a state of disarray... But i don't know how i came to it...

Monday, October 16, 2006

Dreams are fine what???

5 of my Dream Vocations, as tiru-ed from Syada's latest blog entry.. Mari mengimbau kisah-kisah lama, kawan-kawan...

1) Lecturer- on the right path, I guess.. I always wanted to become a teacher and move further on the ladder. The profession just fascinates me and I think there's much I can do with this position in my life. Agree, people??

2) Novelist- I love writing (although most of the time, it qualifies as merepek) and I feel this is the medium where I can let people know me better or probably see my sense of supposedly-poignant view over the world. I remember the days when I'd ask my mum to read all my pieces and she'll just smile with a pat on my back while saying "You're doing just fine, yen.." Hurrrrmmmm.. but then again, it's the mum's job to make their children feel good...

3) Disc Jockey or Club DJ- Ok, stop laughing.. it's not that funny pun. believe it or not, i still want to be one.. planning to learn the techniques when I return home. Just for fun and to quench my curiousity... Well, i am just 21 years old, after all

4) Photographer- tangkap gambar pun selalu tertutup flash.. camne nak jadi photographer??? hahahahahaha

5) Journalist- again because of the whole writing fiasco and wanting people to see the world through my eyes

I have a new job on mind right now, something I'd like to further develop my interest on the future... Probably when I finish my contract with the government or when i do my masters, i'd like to get into media analysis (ala-ala assignment Sociolinguistics gitu).. i love how people can say what they want to say in many different ways yet still achieve their purpose.. Still think that human developed from apes???


Okay, this is an old story.. Last semester, i came to realise it, thanx to Atuk Dan O'Brien, my Educ260 tutor and lecturer.. It goes something like this:

Atuk Dan: So how did you do in the assignment??? Did you do okay??? (as a reaction to my paranoia advice seeking phase a few days before submitting the assignment as well a cuak face a day before getting the results)

Me: Yeah.. I did only alright... Not as well as i wanted, i guess

Atuk Dan: Owwwhhh.. really?? what did you get?? let me look at it (glanced at the paper.. looked at me... and ala-ala campak my paper ke atas meja).. what more would you want??? that's good enough.. (sambil glance ke orang ayng duduk di sebelahku)

Orang sebelah (yang interframe): Yeah, that's a very good mark... I only got a "pass" like everyone else

Me: smiled, dumbfounded.. "buat-buat sweet"

Atuk Dan: That's what we call overcompetitiveness.. Sometimes you are not aware what or who you're competing with...

Then, as I was walking home, I smiled to myself.. what the hell??? Dan doesn't know everything, after all. Of course, i know who i was competing with.. None other than me, myself and I of course... Okay, maybe i'm a bit obsessive about getting good grades and stuff although i always say "owwwhh.. well, i only want or aim for a pass". hahahahahaha.. guess i'm not fooling anyone when my friends just smirk when they hear that line. Well, at times, you just know that you gotta prove a point to yourself.. People always say that TESL is such an easy course, then why can't I get the best grades?? It's not like I'm being unrealistic.. we do need to have goals and would it mean harm if my aim is actually anything better than just a "pass"???

But don't worry, i'm not that ambitious as to get HDs all the time (and I won't, i think.. hehehehehehehe). The thing is we know our ability and when we screw up because we didn't prepare or complete the assignment in the best state possible, you know that you gotta punch yourself hard in the face... And i'm not as obsessive about getting my grades straight as, say, Sean Diddy Combs is about changing his name everytime North Korea threatens to bomb America, you know, probably just to confuse them or something... (Diddy, Puff Daddy, Sean Combs, P.Diddy... Didie Alias, Chicken Curry Puff)...

So the next time you guys wonder why I'm in a veery bad mood after getting assignment results, just don't ask.. Assuming that I'm-thinking about-re-submitting-a-better-piece-tomorrow-kalau-boleh-and- nak-just-punch-the-wit-out-the-next- person-who-says-the-wrong-things is just fine...

Monday, October 09, 2006

My Current Favourites

Giler siot!!!!!!!! VE and dayang are the bomb.. hehehehehehehehe. Rasanya Alicia and Usher bungkus kalau tengok

I'm really enjoying this song by VE entitled Ikhlas tapi Jauh (used to be sung by Zainal Abidin)... people, you know why... hehehehehehehehehehe

But i really think that the vocal arrangement and the music arrangement for this song sangat mantap. VE recorded the song for the OST of a new Malay movie, Cinta starring Sharifah Amani, Fasha Sandha, Rita Rudaini, Pierre (alahai pierre-ku), Shidee, Rahim Razali, Eizlan Yusof and a lot more.. My mum said the movie is ala-ala Love Actually and she's going to watch this movie for our family's usual Hari Raya Wayang Day (which i sadly have to be absent this year)

saya ikhlas walaupun saya jauh dari anda sekarang : )

Nanti by Innuendo... The pioneer of Malaysian R&B scene... i really love this VC. It did won the Best VC award at AIM2002. I think the VC is quitessential in the sense that the makers (innuendo themselves, pot and taj specifically) have so much concern over the Malay culture. I know that some people might argue with my statement, saying that the Malay culture may not be best represented through the 1950's decade and that is through cinemas but I think that is the most documented time of the Malay glory. Name me someone who can completely replace P.Ramlee then we can talk... Our culture is not only represented by what we might call "traditional" dances or stories, it is the values and the language that bonds us together as one.

Plus, if you noticed, you can see VE and Ruffedge members before they become big. VE, RE and Innuendo collaborated on this song making it one of the most melodically rich and tantalising song in BrandNuEndo (after One, Two, The Movies and Ratu Hati... of course)

This song, Save Room, on the other hand, is the new single by John Legend from his upcoming album, Once Again. UUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHH... I'm crazy about John Legend and this motownish sounding song just keeps me getting more addicted to him. Just the right lyrics.. If you like Marvin Gaye, Stevie Wonder and Bill Withers, you'd be certainly drawn into this song too... John Legend, a voice of Eclairs...

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Idol for Me- Final 8 and contending...

I'm really loving Bobby Flynn now... Ricky Muscat is losing his flavour... Lisa Mitchell gets on my nerves... Damien Leith is just the sweetest thing and man, those falsetto sends chill down to my spine... Chris Murphy ROCKS!!! Jessica Mauboy is a gem... Dean Geyer is a pretty sight... Lavinna Williams is the crooner with an eccentric fashion sense...

I managed to find a clip of the original Superfreak song sang by Ricky James (pardon the video clip, though) and try to compare to the miracle Bobby Flynn performed on it... serious stuff, man! that man is a genius and simply unbelievable... To turn a super "kinky", sleazy and lame song into a lovely piece, that requires brain and talent and believe me, Bobby has got them both...

The Ricky James Version:

The Bobby Flynn Version:

shocker?? definitely...

And here are some other of my favourite performances along the way... but it's entirely up to your opinion, though... hehehehehe

Damien Leith- If Tomorrow Never Comes

Lavina Williams- Too Much Heaven

Chris Murphy- Live On The Fast Lane

Aku tak pahamlah ape yang orang OZ dok giler sangat kat Lisa Mitchell... She sounds like a cat screeching, malunya Blondie and Billy Idol... contohnyaaaaa:

Dancing With Myself;

Hearts of Glass

I'm yet to see the real talent of Jessica Mauboy.. she's good, no doubt but she was her best on her first audition day, I think... oh, well... we'll see whether Lisa and Dean meets the "prophecies"..

Congratulate me, people!!!

This week, i have managed to avoid any unnescessary purchase anywhere.. My retail therapy session has been reduced to a very minimal rate.. nampaknya, i CAN control myself.. I could remember the time I blew a few hundred dollars in a week. Kesian pembayar cukai malaysia yang menanggung keperluan berbelanja diriku...

Just as long as i don't see anything on sale anymore.. but then, raya is around the corner.. i need new jeans, new shoes or at least another handbag... how??

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Why??? Why You Do This To Me???

I'm actually feeling a big lost right now.. People who knows me will know that I really love Jay Z and guess what, he's coming to perform right here in Sydney.. Right here, just one show.. and I can't go.

Not that i can't go.. it's just that the concert is happening on the 25th of October or more precisely, 2nd Syawal. Mungkin kalau pergi, kena panah petir kot. I mean, seriously, how often do I get a chance to watch my favourite hip hop artist perform and out of all the available time, he has to choose that date. To wait for him to come to Malaysia instead, I can probably wait for my kids to already be in high school and he comes for a concert named "Nostalgic Days with Jay Z: A Walk Down Memory Alley"

With the arrival of Jay Z, I also realised that i don't really have friends who enjoy doing ALL the things I love. I can't help but to feel the absence of my close friends as for sure if Nina, Nabil or Aimi is here, they'd be into the concert as well and would be my teman to watch it.. No doubt Durra doesn't have a problem with going but i know she's probably just doing it for my sake (thanxlah, dude). Not that my Macquarian friends don't know how to have fun but probably we have different ideas of the term fun.. Which reminds me that I haven't really been doing things I usually do back home ever since I came here... but that's a whole different storylah..

Why Jay Z??? Why you do this to me??

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Facts of Life

I read in a book written by Lesley Krueger that being a purveyor of information is a sign of loneliness... much for facts too.

*the last letter to be added to the alphabet is J*

*the average person will spend 5 years eating during their lifetime*

*the original recipe for chocolate contained chili powder instead of sugar*

*It took Leonardo da Vinci 12 years to paint the lips of Mona Lisa*

*Caterpillars have 2000 muscles*

*Snoopy is the most common dog name starting with the letter "S"*

*Cows give more milk when they listen to music*

*Every hour, the body replace one billion cells*

*You have to play table tennis more than 24 hours to lose 1kg*

*Honeybees are the only type of insects that provides a type of food for human*

*Pineapple is actually a very large berry*

*Top performing companies are called the blue chips after the costliest chips in casinos*

*China only has one time zone*

*The largest fish is the Whale Shark, which can be 15 metres long and weigh 2000kg*

*When glass breaks, the crack moves faster than 5000kmph*

*Favourite horses only wins 30% of the races*

*To survive, most birds have to eat at least half of their body weight in food a day*

*Swimming 1/4 km is like running 1km*

*Your brain is more active sleeping than it is watching tv*

*Barbie is 25cm tall*

*A two-hour motion picture uses 3.3km film*

*Lettuce has been grown and cultivated for 2500 years*

*Kermit the Frog has 11 points on his collar*

*A man's voice is deeper because they have larger vocal chords*

*The Koala is the few land animals that doesn't require water to survive. It consumes a kilo of leaves a day sleeps up to 18 hours a day*

*The Garfish has green bones*

*The size of your foot is approximately the size of your forearms*

*Acorns if eaten can cause kidney damage*

*Placing a piece of charcoal, chalk or mothballs in a toolbox can prevent tools from rusting*

*On a clear, dark night, human can see a candle burning 50km away*

*As much as 50 litres of maple sap is needed to make a litre of maple syrup*

*The bullfrog is the only animal that doesn't sleep*

*Female elephants produces only one off spring every five years*

*The African eagle, swooping at 200kmph, can brake to a halt at 6 metres*

*Cooking and freezing does not affect the heat of chilli*

*Termites eat wood twice as fast while listening to heavy metal music*

*A violin contains of 70 individual pieces of wood*

*The brain is 74% water*

*Most newborns cry without tears until they are three to six weeks old*

*The scale on the underside of snakes are called 'scutes'*

*In most advertisements, the time displayed on a watch is 10.10*

*It takes about 500 peanuts to make a jar of peanut butter*

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

My Dream Guy~tag dari Nisa~

Since Nisa dah tag, maka terpaksalah saya mengaku and show to the world about my perfect guy ye.. hehehe..

1. Menjaga waktu solatnya dan mengekalkan prestasi cukup 5 waktu sehari semalam
(saya perlukan orang yang lebih berilmu dari saya untuk membimbing keluarga saya)

2. Mempunyai perancangan masa hadapan yang teliti dan berpandangan jauh
(saya perlukan seseorang yang does all the planning for us)

3. Mempunyai suara yang sedap dan meminati genre muzik yang sama dgn saya..
(saya memang tamak)

4. Mempunyai selera makan yang tinggi dan pandai/boleh masak
(supaya saya tak low self esteem sbb makan banyak)

5. Pemandu yang berhati-hati tapi bawak keta laju
(ye, saya tahu bahawa kriteria ini pelik)

6. Seorang yang independent but dependent on me
(kirenya menyayangi diri ini tapi tak clingylah)

7. Seorang yang tak penyepah sangat
(but it's only natural kalau he is a bit untidy)

8. Shares the same interest and hobbies
(supaya tak kehilangan topik untuk borak)

9. Menerima saya seadanya saya

10. Tinggi dari saya dan sedap mata memandang
(ahaks.. aku rasa kelakar dgn diri aku sendiri)

bulan ramadhan bakal menjelang

satu lagi rahmat menjelang, Allah has granted me with yet another chance to feel the keberkatan of the ramadhan month, fasting and getting nearer to Him. But I have to admit, usually it stops there.. it doesn't continue to the following months. I wonder why the determination doesn't stay??? nak salahkan syaitan sepenuhnya for it ke??? sounds unreasonable plak kan??

My azam- kekalkan prestasi dan tingkatkan usaha (cam report card masa sekolah rendah)

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Too much negativity around me...

I just got a message from my mum, saying that my grandad just had a fatal heart attack and is currently under coma.. there is less hope, so the doctor said and everybody is there at his bedside, except for me... except for me...

I have friends who are going through a rough time right now.. Some just got out of a relationship, relationship that was meant to be doomed, relationships that were glittering but just lost its sparkle as time passes by... I feel for them as I've been hurt before but what more can I do to cheer them up??

I just realised that some people just couldn't stop talking about everybody else, even when there is less concern about the gossipers. I just learnt that I have nicknames, I just learnt that people bitch about me when I don't give a damn about them at all in the first place...

Too much negativity.. I'm trying to be positive.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

AGM MSA 2006

I was frustrated with the attendance and the lack of support shown by the memebrs of MSA for the AGM. Somehow, the lack of attendance mirrors our attitude towards an association that has done quite a lot to make us feel welcomed. I think it's our responsibility and privilege to choose the new leaders and also in a way, show our gratitude for the previous committee. Kalau kita tak datang mengundi and determine what kind of leadership or future that the MSA holds, maka kita tak layaklah nak komen tentang itu dan ini, merajuk pasal situ dan sini di masa hadapan...

I just hope that people are more positive and responsible... That's all.

Monday, September 11, 2006

Rain Bathing after Dikir Mayang...

It has been raining since last week here in sydney.. syukur for the rahmat although it just makes you get lazier to go to class, or worst still to move from the bed.. Luckily, on the Dikir Mayang Party day, I managed to peel myself off the bed and rushed to nisa's place at 9am as I gracefully forgot that the party is for lunch instead of dinner.. hehehehe

Then, I (supposedly) helped Zila out with the Soto preparation while Nisa prepares the Mee Kari and I assume that Tasha and Durra were in charge for the bergedel (yummy! yummy!).. well the sad case is I didn't knew what this Soto thing was, you can blame my mum for that.. seriously, I always thought it was odd to consume chicken soup with anything else other than rice.. why should we eat it with mee or nasi himpit??? that's not normal, man (according to my standardslah kan...)

Apparently, not much help is needed with the soto and if i were to make myself useful, i need to indulge myself in a very trivial but crucial task for soto.. So, there I was peeling the unfreshly tossed into water taugeh for almost two hour and was actually delighted to ask Fariza and Hannah to join me in it when they finally came.. Seriously, i felt like crying doing that alone man.. apatah lagi Norzie was playing raya songs while I was doing it.. Rasa macam hari raya kat Kuang.. Ok, enough about the sentiments.. hehehe. So, my knowledge obtained from that series of two hour soto preparation was always avoid taugeh in your life

Then people started coming in and filling up the space... Food were consumed heartily and everybody was having a great time, teasing and laughing at each other. Just like the dikir barat practices and i think the same at the Ulik Mayang practices we had. I mean, who can forget Sunny's decision to use a "mak-datuk-besarnya-mangkuk-ko-ni" bowl to bedal the Mee kari and also "Shima's" keayuan memakai tudung bersama baju melayu.. The rain was still as heavy as it has been since morning and there's no sign of it stopping any time soon.. Nisa was busy asking everybody to play in the rain.. not as yet, nisa, not as yet...

After finishing with the first round and songlaping all the bergedels (sorrylah sape yang tak dapat tu..), we went into the meracau mode while waiting for everybody to change into the dikir mayang costume. There were two opponents, one led by Seng Chee in the hall while the other was under Nisa's wing... Yeah, knowing us, we had a "karaoke" competition, but we weren't looking for the smoothest voice instead we were coveting for the "who's crazier?" award.. Blurting out raya songs, lagu negeri, lagu IPBA (priceless) and most surprising of all, dangdut songs (yeah, come out from the cave , my people.. no need to be shy of your music repertoire).. hehehehehe.. who won??? trust me, there's no dichotomy on "who's crazier??"

As usual, Macquarians got caught up in the photo taking session before some of us decided to resolve to a game of volley ball instead.. I only watched them play in the rain first and laughed at the private jokes that i taught i knew the meaning but well, it doesn't matter whether, i knew or not kan???? as volleyball is not actually my forte and i hate to see my hands lebam after that, i crossed my fingers that they'll play something else.. luckily, syada ajak main tuju selipar.. NYYYYYYYYCCCEEEEE... there couldn't be a better game to play in the rain...

So, we divided into two equally strong teams. I was in the team with Sunny, Shim, Norzie, Sakinah and sometimes Nisa.. As usual, this game is all about deceit and taking out your inner child. Sumpah kelakar tengok Syada holding the selipar while counting (padahal everybody saw her doing that), tengok Seng Chee's team cuak masa selipar kena my head while Sakinah gracefully built the selipar tower again (huhu), tengok Shim jatuh at least three times, tengok Sasha yang lemah gemalai actually being active, tengok Norzie check mata Tasha yang disyaki terkena rembatan selipar tuju langit kelapan and again tengok Syada baling selipar dengan penuh kegeraman kat Sakinah (what did she do to you, syada?? why you so kejam??)... one hell of a great time and being the smarter (and greater team), we won lerr...

Then the rain got worst but never did we subsided... the brave ones (ie Shim, Seng Chee, Zaini, Sunny, Syada and me) continued playing futsal and basked(????!!!) in the rain. That was one of the greatest fun I ever had... even though it was damn slippery (caution: slippery when wet.. DUH!) and dark as ever, we still played and boy, was that crazy.. as soon as i got back to house, i realised that i'm gonna have a fever.. not only from playing in the rain... but also from having too much fun : )

Saturday, September 09, 2006

Things that happened since I last updated this blog..

*We rocked the Malaysian Fest... Kudos to the whole Dikir Barat team*

*Got back my LING253 summary assignment.. could have done better*

*Had my first cendol in 6 months*

*Discovered a nasty side to a person whom I didn't care to give a damn about before this, but she is starting to get on my nerves now*

*Got into better terms with my current housemates... It's surprising to learn things you never thought you'll ever know before*

*I really miss home... but that's a constant feeling*

*It has been raining cats and dogs since last week*

*Decided to give a breather to a friend whom i think should always remain a good friend to myself*

*Went to the MGM and managed to return in one piece (although merentas bandar meniaki dua bas memakai baju kurung dan high heels baru)*

*Talked to Nina for TWO full hours... syiok*

*Have been deleting all the crappy e-mails in my mailbox (including things about Mawi and Siti.. shisssssh.. why do they even bother sending me those stuff??)*

*Kept up to my azam to not check my friendster and forums for a full (or more) week*

*Been studying for my sociolinguistics test next week even though i'd be able to guarantee you that I wouldn't be able to answer a single thing*

*Haven't been consuming rice and proper food since last sunday (2nd september)*

*Really miss him...*

*Realised that my bond with the majority of IPBArians in MacQ have grown tighter*

*Ricky Muscat got into the Australian Idol.. yey*

*Steve Irwin died*

*Decided to do something drastic that might change the polarity of friendship in IPBA*

Ada kalanya kita terlupa...

Sometimes, we forget that the best things in life are free...

Sometimes, we forget that the only person waiting for us might be in front of our eyes...

Sometimes, we forget to say thank you to our closest friends who were always there for us...

Sometimes, we forget to say our prayers as we always should be...

Sometimes, we neglect our parents for ourselves...

Sometimes, we do things we swear we'd never do again...

Sometimes, we reach out for the things that people say we shouldn't...

Sometimes, we turn a blind eye to the impending work waiting to be done...

Sometimes, we take a 45 minutes shower when kids in Namibia don't have clean drinking water...

Sometimes, we feel so ungrateful for what we have until we are thrown into a deserted island...

Sometimes.... we forget... Because human are only supposed to be complete, God is PERFECT...

jaazakallahu khairan kathiran...

Sunday, August 20, 2006

The Power of Dikir Barat

I never had more fun in Macquarie than the one i'm having at the dikir barat practice sessions that we have weekly in Nisa's place. Seriously, a place where we can just shout out and lontarkan that voice from inside of you without having to try to be demure or anything (because that defeats the purpose, you see)... Di kala I'm having a very severe headache due to the many assignments (satu je but cam banyak), dikir barat seem to be a great reliever of that pain... although i know nisa doesn't agree...

i mean, of course it's fun... You get to be with the whacky set of Cohort 2 people(haaaa.. takleh join kumpulan KOOL ye, it's a private club), the very, very talented MSA people (ehehehehehe.. president best!) and how often do you get to see Shim and Azan sing in Malay, asli song plak tu (shit! did i say their names??.. opps)??!! Plus the occasional scolding from Cik Pengurus Kumpulan Dikir Barat yang very committed to her job and also the chance to laugh at our own clumsiness with my partner in crime, durra-yang-jahat-dan-suke-kaco-aku (yeah, that's her other long full name...)

But then again, come to think of it, we merely have 2 weeks to M-Fest and as the so-called-tukang karut (haha! reveal ka??), the pressure is knocking on my door already. Hand movements tak ingat lagik.. Lyrics don't asklah kan.. Oh well, i guess the progress of the team is getting on really well. Like what Seng Chee said, get ready for an "eye shocking, jaw dropping" dikir barat show, peeps... Ala ewaaaaaaa, ewa buleeeeeee, ewa buleeeee, teraju tigo.....

My 21st Birthday

What made my 21st Birthday Celebration meaningful???

Wan Aini Nordin~ Nina Samad~ Fifi Sabrina~ Nabil Nor Kamal~ Andy Ariffin~ Ungku Nisya~ Pojie~ Nisa Kamaruddin~ Durra Khairuddi~ Syada Sulaiman~ Tasha Harun~ Majidah~ Faa Aidid~ Fariza Lokman~ Shah Hans~ Raffil Sany~ Nur Hafeez~ Wan Anip~ Carey Hassan~ Souldeliters~ Macquarie Peeps~ IPBArians~ DEREK~ Bavarian Swirl Cream Cake~ Chocolate Cake with Sprinklers~

Rod Lane did it!

Last Thursday (17th of August 2006), Rod Lane melted my heart.. with a simple wink directed to me.. and a simple smile directed to me again... and pricelessly, Syada was there to witness it... Life IS beautiful

Friday, August 11, 2006

Mornings Like This

My day started pretty darn early today... I had a two hour lecture that starts at 9am and the whole stretch of the lecture was filled with George giving us information... Well, sometimes, I think too much for my own liking. I mean, i like George and all. He's good homoured and knows how to interact with the crowd. But the place we chose to sit at this morning was a particularly dangerous one, since we were the ones that are directly facing Encik George.. Not Good, people! Plus the fact that I was watching Bujang Senang and Baik Punya Cilok with Durra when I was supposed to do my readings yesterday, definitely did not boost my confidence to be in that I-expect-an-eye-contact-from-you-position... Booyah!

There's something about George that is so traditional yet compelling, though. Not only did he expected us to attend the lectures even though there is a I-Lecture for this subject (any MacQuarians who doesn't have a clue about this, check the WebCT and see the scary fonts he chose to use to remind us of our responsibilities), he also expects us to be on our guards and be interactive. Well, that is good, judging from the fact that more people can voice out their thoughts and share them with us. I respect his intention and think that it is particularly important to see whether we have reached the outcomes of the lecture. But the minds of very young people like us (hehe) might not have the capacity to listen to another student relating EACH and EVERY experience he possibly has as a Physics teacher to us. Ok, he has more experience and stuff but i sometimes feel that it disrupts the class.

Which brings me to my LING253 tutorials that I'm totaaaaally digging this semester (We Love Nick and Simon!). I know that some people just simply has an immense amount of knowledge and they are sooooo eager to share it with the rest of the world, but if you butt in each time Sue Spinks says a different sentence, I assure you that all you're doing is adding the collection of tutorial mates who will soon decide they should change their timeslot no matter how many redtabs they would have to go through... Yes, I assure you, it's THAT drastic.

I have the Educational Assesment tutorial coming up in less than 2 hours after the lecture... and I am supposed to be reading the loooooooong and dense chapter 1 and 2 from Killen's book. Luckily, i managed to finish reading the chapters twice because Rod Lane (yang comeeeeeel bangat) is not a tutor who is willing to feed you with all the information. He actually scared me when he said that there is no way anyone of you is going to escape his eye... Haha... I wouldn't want to pun. Betul, dia memang comel sungguh.. Tutor yang memberikanku semangat untuk lebih tekun (ewah).. His style was the active participation style and he wants everyone to contribute. I enjoyed his tutorial and this could possibly be among the tutorial I'm going to continue enjoying through out my education years.

To sum up, even though Durra and Syada left me out in their MC trip, i still had fun today even though it started out as an early and blurry one. looking forward to another Thursday in the future... Killen, help me out!

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Life is beautiful

When i say that you give me butterflies, you really do... when i say that i can't stop thinking about you, i really can't... when i say that i miss you, i really do... when i say that you make me warm in the rain with your voice, you really do... God granted human being with emotions and affection, making them, above all, unique and sensible... I thank God that I found you and I thank God again for making you see me the way i do... Life is beautiful... alhamdullilah

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Startled to have a glimpse of the Real World...

Yesterday, as usual, i lepak at Nisa's place and decided to laze around watching Dancing On Ice (schmoking!) and later on, Rove Live with Durra, Syada, Nisa and Harvin.... All was well, Rove was crazy (like he always has been) and there was Nick Lachey (Rove called him "Lick Nachey"), Mischa Barton and Nelly Furtado on the show that night.. So, let's just say part of the night was a hedonistic indulgement apatah lagi diselangi dengan kek coklat susu lemak berkrim disukai ramai buatan Nisa dicicah dengan hazelnut blend jenama Home Brand...

But as Syada flipped the channels while Rove was on break, we tuned in to a mini series on channel 7... Judging from the credibility of channel 7, there's always something nice on.. So, Syada checked the TV Guide and told me that the mini series that was on is something called "Human Trafficking". So, I watched it and I tell you, I was surprised at the sincerity and the intensity of the series... It uncovered the international crime scheme that does human trafficking for the sex industry around the world.. Based on a true story, I was startled to realise that this is happening in the world.. A 12 year old American girl is kidnapped in Manila while she on a vacation with her parents and innocent girls from 3rd world countries are brought to either developing or the developed nations, both for fulfilling the demands of the evergrowing market.

Considering that prostitution is, indeed, the oldest trade in the world, the human trafficking business is seen as a guaranteed money maker for the operator. Imagine a woman who is sold for merely USD1500, will be sold over and over again, at least 3 times a day, 25 days in a month for USD150 each time... That ludacrative outcome has been the main reason why the business has never been successfully controlled by any government in the world. Furthermore, many countries, ie Denmark and German, decided to legalise sex industry after seeing the potential of the trade to develop itself and at the same, intending to keep the industry "clean". Hearing this actually made me sick, although I must admit that might mean that I am being entirely ethnocentric... But as far as I'm concerned, prostitution was never admitted as a more in any society and woman should never be seen as a product/item for any reasons at all.

I didn't have the guts to watch the miniseries till the end. I couldn't sleep the whole night. I wondered, is it because we don't care about the issue that it has become such a worrying dillemma in the world???? It is happening everywhere... A girl is sold to a brothel for a mere USD 40 directly after being born by her poor Calcutta parents, a 16 year old Cambodian girl was forced to be trafficked to Malaysia after her father failed to pay the impending debt of USD150, a 17 year old Brazilian who thought she has secured a modelling career in USA left her blind father at home so that she would able to make more money to improve their living only to find out that she is to work as a prostitute in return of the favour of the agent who brought her across the border. And the more gruesome fact is that, the South East Asian countries are the destination for child prostitution.

The issue is not merely a women issue, but rather a question of humanity. If we don't do our part, it will continue to contaminate the world. It is surprising to see that people with positions in the society such as your local dentist, GP, district attorney and teachers being involved and convicted as sexual predators. If we don't try to curb the problem now, maybe we never will and face the possiblity that one day, our children be the next victim when we least expected...

For more information on the issue, here are some links you could surf and a channel to deepen your awareness.

Jazakallahu khairan kathiran...

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Do I need Self-Control??!!

I've grown since i came to sydney... literally. I mean, I added a few inches here and there (some say they can't see A THING) and honestly, I've also reached the dreaded 5okg point on the scale when I got here.. Well, to be more precise, I've reached the 53kg point and now maintaining at 50kg. Yeah, I've been doing some comfort eating considering the fact that it is the only thing that took my mind out of thinking about home and the "demanding" uni tasks but I've never thought that I will see the day that I have the potential of reaching 53kg or maybe 55kg.. huhu...

well, I can only be grateful for the increasing weight.. Don't get me wrong, I do want to gain weight.. Back home, I've tried all sort of things just to gain a few kilos such as protein supplement and stuff but it just doesn't work as well as I expected it to be... Hurrrmmm.. maybe this could be valid reason for me to apply for a PR in Australia.. :"why do you want to live in australia??" "because it's easier for me to gain weight, sir"

haha.. okay, maybe that was a bit too foolish but I haven't had breakfast yet which usually consists of either 6 slices of french toasts with nuttella topping or possibly 3 pancakes with maple syrup or maybe 2 bowls of cereal with milk.. before moving on to the lunch section at 12pm where i can usually tolerate 4 sandwiches or probably two plates of rice would do just good.. For the evenings, i only have a mug of hot drink and some sausages or meatballs or 2 scrambled eggs with bread. And I'll have my dinner at 7pm (usually) after doing some cooking with durra... Dinner is usually the heavy stuff with desserts and my daily yoghurt intake unlike the other meals, of course... That pretty much sums up my daily diet and it does sound pretty okay to me..

Well, it is right?? I do eat heaps more at Malaysia hence the fact that there are more places to dine in and chill at compared to here... So, what's with the gaining effect? Oh well.. Maybe they have more preservatives in OZ foods, maybe they included cheese in everything, maybe they deliberately made the food more delicious so that i am tempted to buy more and more (Nisa, aku dah tak beli cereal lagi dah) or maybe the aliens have a secret mission going on trying to make all of the people in the world become more heavier so that it would be harder for us to escape when they are after us (which would also mean they would not be interested in interesting specimens like Posh Beckham or Paris Hilton.. Huyissshhh)

Okaaayyy.. I'm not going to go all paranoid.. It's just that I find it harder to stay fit.. Just 15 minutes playing futsal on a sekangkang kera punye padang at the back of our houses, I'm already losing my breath and trying very hard to stay focused (but still, that is not a valid reason for Syada to defend my goal when she IS my teammate)... Do I need to get back to my previous weight which is 46kg or do I need to exercise more than the rate I'm doing now and eat the same amount of food while I'm at it?? I'm loving my self now but I wish that my weight gain IS not the reason for my inability to keep fit....

Well, I'll just put on my running shoes and indulge in some jogging activity with syada as usual and if I need self-control, I have Cik Durra to remind me (nanti anak-anak kau pun jadi food machine, kena beli periuk besar sebab anak kau akan jerit "nasi..nasi...") Thankslah, Dur.. You're a Gem.. hehehehehe..

So Oporto will have to wait... until next week, that is..

Sunday, August 06, 2006


What does happiness mean to you??? Do you feel happy right now??? How about yesterday??? You think you'd be happy tomorrow?? Let's look at some take on happiness...

The thing about happiness is it is so subjective... it depends on how you look upon life and things. Some people say that money can't buy happiness. Well, that is only true to a limited extent. If materialism does somehow give you a satisfaction inside and contributes to your self esteem (how ever well you experience it), it is an indication that you're happy enough for that particular moment in your life. For me, it is exactly the same as another person who seek happiness by growing plants at their backyard or watching their children mature to be a better person. Having said that, note that human are entirely different from one another and what you do could also affect the happiness of others. For example; telling people to do only what you like and prefer might result in a conflict in your relationship. A dictatorship that dictates one right way to do things also results in unhappiness to some, if not to many.

You ask what makes us different in our approach to happiness?? Your perception towards happiness relies on your gene factors, some people are just born glum as others are born cheerful enough to laugh at their own misery. That applies to about 30-50% on your take towards happiness. The other element that effects your happiness is your concerns and view of life... The choices you make in how you wish to perceive life is particularly important in influencing the happiness degree in your life. This feature could be enhanced and is entirely within your control. This is what exactly being taught in the Happiness Institutes around the world and it is becoming increasingly crucial to attain. This is especially due to the fact that in the current modern world that we're living in, there isn't really room for self-realisation if we're not exposed to it in a wider scale. We need to be educated about happiness and the way to achieve it, even if it means going through a specific course about it.

Another thing about happiness is that if you try too hard to make yourself happy, there is a clear chance that you won't feel happy at all. Now, try to look back at some of the happiest moments of your life... How many percent of it was spontaneous?? Nearly 75%?? Right... The philosophers of the hedonistic school of thought (mind you, stop associating hedonism with absolute ignorance on spirituality) implies that human feel the ultimate bliss when you pause for a second and try to reflect whether you've been happy doing the things you've been doing without planning the exact locus of happiness that you were supposed to feel.

That's happiness for you... It's controllable, achievable and retrievable... Try to indulge yourself in things that you love to do and stop presurring yourself (and people around you) to work according to plans all the time... Be optimistic in life, see the brighter side of things and be thankful for all the wonderful things you have in life. Then, maybe you will see that happiness comes in various shades and it does serve as a clear purpose of life... Chalo :)