A year has passed with almost no updates on the exciting changes that had since taken place in my life. I know I'd bore you with the lame excuse of not having enough time and that I have been immersed with ongoings of the real life (since this is virtual :P). But today, inspiration is all abound as I reflected my life since I had written here back in March 2011.
I am currently a wife to a doting husband and yes, I learnt that life works in mysterious ways. I have also been taught gently that Love is possible and ever so precious after going through hardships and downfalls. My husband, Rusyaidi Husni Abdul Latib, who is a proud self-proclaimed kampong boy, hails from Seremban (not so kampong, you say?). We met through a mutual friend, Rijal whom I have not met since 2006. One night in June 2011, I just randomly decided to ask Rijal to hang out in Bangsar and Rusy just happened to tag along. One thing led to another and after 2 weeks, Rusy and I were already planning to get married! Not so long after that, we got hitched on 10th March 2012, about 9 months after knowing each other.
Why so impulsive, you may ask? I, for one, was one of those sceptics who would never buy it if I was told that you can decide to marry a person whom you've just met 10 days ago. I used to think that marriage is a huge deal that must be dealt with really well and pondered upon heavily. I used to be so scared of the notion of spending your life with someone you barely know, thinking that the misunderstandings would definitely be frequent. Yet, there was something about my husband and I that just seems to click. I was not pretentious with him and neither did we hide under any kind of projected image that we thought the other would like. He told me things that he liked or disliked and I was quite struck at how calm I was listing down all his ideas :p
I could still remember my mother's reaction to it. Her daughter would never made a rushed decision, so she looked me into the eye and asked me this; "Dah fikir dalam-dalam ke?" or "Have you given it a deep thought?". I guess any mother would ask the same to her child who suddenly alerts her on the news that her daughter would like to wed a man whom she had just known for 14 days. I am sure my mother in-law was equally baffled when my husband relayed the news to her. But I took just a couple of minutes to succintly explain that we have given it the deepest thought and that we would like our feelings to be realised into a lawful relationship. Not sure if my husband took longer than that, though.. hahaha.
Sunday, November 25, 2012
It is never easy losing a parent. When I was a mere 12 year old kid in primary school, I had lost my beloved mother in a car accident. Usually, my dad would pick me up but since he was bogged down with work, mother decided to do so even though she was a novice driver. While we were on our usual route back from my school, a young boy who was deeply engrossed in his ice-cream abruptly crossed the road at a busy intersection. My mother tried to avoid from running over the boy but she skidded into a line of stalls nearby.
Miraculously, I was saved without a single scratch as mum had cast her protective arms over me during the collision. While we were trapped in the car, I could see a deep cut on her forehead but she still managed to smile at me, probably to let me know that everything will be alright. Just as she was about to say something, she drew her last breath and at that very instant, she was gone. When the paramedics arrived, she had already died due to internal bleeding and a severe skull fracture.
After that traumatic experience, I found it hard to not blame myself and my father for losing her. I felt useless and helpless as I could not save my own mother when she needed me. I admonished my father for not picking me up and causing mother to die. I started to become rebellious and nonchalant towards life when I moved on to secondary school. My demeanour changed as I wrecked up problems regularly at school, causing my father to be at wit's end to control me. This went on for 2 years until an incident changed my life thoroughly.
One cold, starless night, I stormed out from my home towards a nearby deserted basketball court after having a squabble with my father. The peaceful surrounding there would always provide me tranquility that I needed, since I did not have close friends to confide in at school. I started shooting a raggedy basketball half-heartedly into the ring as I recalled how my father was continuously putting pressure on me to excel in my studies. Why wouldn't he understand my ordeal? How can I study when my mind was always thinking about my mother? He did not understand my loss and I thought to myself that he never will. He was just interested in work and never spent time with me, anyway. Not the way mum did.
After about thirty tries, I was exhausted and took a rest on the rickety bench when I noticed something glimmering in the sky. It seemed to be approaching closer as I was growing fixated on it! It darted towards the cornfield surrounding the court and upon reaching the surface, it disappeared without a spectacle.
“What on earth is that?” I murmured to myself in disbelief.
My curiosity went overboard as I raced through the cornfield to find the source of the blinding light. As I neared a particularly empty spot, I saw an odd looking plate-shaped flying object hovering over a crop circle. It landed right at the centre of the circle and a door opened leading two beings creeping out from the entrance. They looked hilarious to me: their heads were humongous with a pair of large black eyes complemented with thick, blistering red lips. Awkwardly so, their bodies seemed too tiny to support their heads as their languid long limbs were just the size of a 10 year old child. I could not contain my laughter when I realised that they were undressed and their skin was a ridiculous hue of pink.
The aliens who were alerted with my presence zapped right in front of me in the speed of light. One of them extended its three-fingered palm as a sign of peace and after hesitating for a while, I received its hand that seemed ice cold. They invited me onto the spaceship and as if being drugged, I agreed. The insides of the ship were even more fascinating- just like the ones I had seen on television. But a huge monitor caught my attention as it displayed similar beings like the aliens dying in dire straits. One of the aliens communicated to me by typing on a screen that earth is causing harm to their life.
They went on to explain that a particularly new and covertly operating nuclear reactor in Nebraska was causing harm to their race. The nuclear had been emitting radiation that was not dangerous to humankind but deadly to theirs. Even though it was dangerous, they had traveled across the universe in the radiation-proof ship just to save their people. It did not make perfect sense to me but I knew that I had to assist them in the name of humanity. I quickly browsed the maps application in my phone and it directed us to a reactor that was thirty thousand miles away. They took a look at the map and in just a second, we arrived at the site. As we did, the aliens positioned the ship exactly above the reactor and emitted a beam that supposedly shielded the radiated waves from reaching their frontiers.
Still being in a state of disbelief, both of the aliens communicated to me that they were exalted since the mission was complete after the beam had successfully fulfilled its duty. They wanted to grant any wish that I had and after pondering a while, I told them that I wanted to know what my mother wanted to say before she passed on. They configured something on the monitor and after a fizzle, the monitor zoomed to the site where the accident took place. I regretted asking for such a wish as my heart was choking with sadness. But then, I heard my mum's whispering voice from within her heart,
“Azrul, I am sorry that I am leaving you earlier. Please promise me that you will never blame yourself and you will make me proud. Always help others and do not be selfish. Always take care of yourself and your father too. He may seem hard on the outside but he is a tender person. He loves you. I LOVE YOU.”
Then, she drew her last breath.
My tears flowed down like a cascading waterfall and I truly felt remorse for all of my actions. I held my face in my hands as I wept tears of regret for not respecting my father all this while even though he was suffering. One of the aliens beings placed its hand on my shoulder as another typed out on the monitor:
“Your mother must be so proud of you. You are a good human being and you can change yourself”.
As the sun was about to rise, they dropped me off at my door step and bid farewell before shooting off to the sky almost instantly. I dashed into the house and hugged father who was waiting for me in his reading chair. He hugged me back tight and without a single word, we knew that things will be better. Surprisingly, I had learnt the value of humanity and selflessness from extra terrestrial beings who are much braver than me. I thanked God that I was chosen for such a heavy task and since then, I had changed my ways into becoming a better son, student and ultimately, a human.