Monday, October 30, 2006

I Miss My Daddy...

29 October 2002... It has been 4 years since the day my father passed away. I felt his lost ever since and i missed him every single day. My daddy, the man who brought me up and made me partially who I am today. He used to be my moon as my mummy is my sun.

I remember how he used to have two jobs just to get us by. He was only 21 years old when he married my mum, despite the disapproval of his family (partly because he was still young and also because my mum is a muslim). He and my mummy lived the life of the young while we were growing up and treated us as friends instead of children. He fancied making and playing kites, bikin his Honda Accord which he changed for a Grand Vitara as we were growing up, watching old Tamil, Malay and English movie, collecting EPs and vinyls... And of course, the occasional skating (old school style)

When we were kids, people used to say that my mummy and daddy were out on a date and one of them had to bring their "siblings" (ie us, the kids) to tag along on the date.. hihi. We lived a modest life yet never once have i doubted that he loved us very much even though he was not always able to give us what we wanted. Although at times, i complained about the simplicity of our life but he tried very hard. When he pushed us to our limits, it was because he wanted us to lead a different, if not a better, life than he did.

I was not ready to lose my daddy when he passed away at a young age of 39... He suffered from a medical condition called neuropathy where his muscle is no longer able to rebuilt the dead cells. He slowly lost the ability to walk and then to use his hands, then eventually his heart muscles will also lose the ability to pump blood through his body system... It was hard watching his condition deteriorate day by day and my mummy stayed strong along the way. I saw how much my mummy loved my daddy through those time and never did she lose faith that he would get better even though the doctor "cordially" said that there is no cure for this disease yet...

Till this very day, sometimes I question why did he have to go so early.. sometimes, i blame him for making me miss him too much, for making my mum go through a harder life, for making my little sister lack a paternal affection all through her life... But then, I look up to the sky and realise that he is living a better life there... God loved him, more than we do. Tears stream down my eyes as I recited prayers for him lately... Four years and you are still very much alive in our heart and memory.

May Allah bless your soul always and love you as much as you loved your children since we were little until you left us.. Amin

Whenever I hear this song, i cannot help but to remember you, daddy.. God knows I love you, no matter what.

These are the times...

This month has been a bumpy ride altogether... I just took my EDUC265 assignment and let me assure you that it has just made my day crashed down... The worst grade I ever got... I was like, WTF??? I just knew that I've screwed up big time... I'm trying to be positive but there's nothing positive about the grade.. Kenapakah hidupku semakin miserable nie???

At this moment, I just wanna pack up my bag and get on the next plane back home... Nothing else is able to make me feel better...

Well, they say that you can never reach the top if you haven't got to the rock bottom... *positive*positive*

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Love And Teh Tarik

Have you ever came across a Malaysian who genuinely doesn't like the taste of a nice warm teh tarik??? Not that they can't consume it but they just don't like it??? Hurmmm... they exist but they are a very rare species indeed. Just like the rare species of people who doesn't fancy being in love. Well of course, teh tarik, like love, is everywhere and found at every corner of the Malaysian land yet they are also getting overshadowed by the emergence of lattes and mochas... But does it mean that it is getting less significant in our lives or the other alternatives are just options to forsake something that's always been in our blood??

Notice that a cuppa teh tarik goes anytime in a daily basis, be it for breakfast to start your day or for a late nite supper with friends after battling it up in a futsal game. It never goes wrong on your taste buds and it will never burn your tongue too (hence the purpose of tariking it, get it?)... Hurmm, but in some cases, the mamak will accidently (ye ke?) give you a glass that is either too hot or too cold. Having ordered it already and not wanting to be fussy, you patiently wait the hot one to cool down or just gulp down the cold one with frustration in your heart going "damn, i should've gone to the other joint instead of this one... kenapalah aku ikut depa nie ha?"... Is it a wrong choice made or it's just pure poor luck that you have to settle down with that glass? Of course there is a choice of exchanging the glass for another one and crossing your fingers that the mamak doesn't do something nasty to your new glass... Dare? Then you swear to yourself that you'll never order another teh tarik when you join the same crowd here. More extreme, never to set your foot there again and spread the word of "wisdom" about the joint for the crime of offending the art of making teh tarik :P

On a different scope, do me a favor by choosing a food that goes wrong with teh tarik... Almost none, i reckon. Even a risotto tastes incredibly delicious matched with teh tarik... That's how flexible it is. Yet it definitely has one food that is THE match for your personal taste, be it a plate of maggi goreng or a puffed crispy roti canai. Just like the case where every other mamak joint or a five star hotel offers a variety taste of teh tarik that is up to your choice to covet for. Can you stand enjoying a glass of wonderfully blended teh tarik alternated with the stench of smoke from automobiles at the road stall that has rodents playing hide and seek around it or would you rather compromise the taste for a simpler one served at an air-conditioned restaurant... Again, the choice is entirely yours to make and having made it, yeah, you can change it anytime you like but the question to ponder upon then is whether you can face the change and relive the taste as you once had.

And teh tarik is all about balance and getting the distinction that naturally separates it in its own class... You have to get the bitterness and sweetness well seamed that you can't tell what's so special about it yet it is so significant to be programmed as the best in your brain... The next thing you know, you'll be coming around every now and then, fetching for the same cup, savouring over it as if it is, indeed, the pleasure like no other God has granted to give you on Earth. And when you get the wrong cup that either is too sweet or too bitter for you, you'll shake your head and say "uh uh.. that ain't my cup of tea" literally. And when you had too many of the wrong ones, you'll then just give up and switch to a glass of OJ instead all the time... Imagine if that goes wrong too...Yup, life can be more surprising than we'd ever thought before, ain't it? Plus, teh tarik can also go wrong for people who are on diet who will soon have to discover that the teh tariks they had just helped to lower their metabolisme rate...

On many angles, teh tarik, like love, can be foreseen as a passion that makes you ride high and low. For some even, it's the love-hate realtionship. You can't stand it when it's around and it gives you terrible migraine too. But you long for it when you haven't been igniting your senses with its strong and sensuous sting for a while. It makes you make the hard decisions in life and it also suggests that life can be more than just half the glass if you tried hard enough to search for it and sacrifice along the way while you're at it... Just keep in mind that you can never have too much of teh tariks in your life... and so applies about love.

*if you feel like you've read this, you probably did.. hehehe*

Saturday, October 21, 2006

The Men who make me laugh!

Hamish Blake and Andy Lee

Hamish "uno" Blake (L) and Andy "bruce" Lee

Two seriously funny, funny men.. Hamish and Andy are soooooo damn comel. People who watch Thank God You're Here as religiously as I do would definitely know what I mean and damn, they can really tickle me silly. Plus, the cult show "Real Stories" which got really good review also managed to capture the essence of real comedy infused in what is called "the 5th best current affair show in Australia".. hahahaha.. Naomi Robson of Today Tonight and Tracy Grimshaw of Current Affair should watch this and realise how nonsical their shows really are.

Hamish and Andy met at the University of Melbourne before deciding that they should become partners in crime and reign the radio talkshows before moving on to TV shows. Andy Lee was also Cleo's Eligible Bachelor for 2006 (as you can see why...) here is my favourite snippet from Real Stories

Grounded For Life


Lately, i've been feeling very, very unstable.. Don't really know why... Not really sure how i got to this stage... Is it being far from the people i love and care for?? Is it because i think i'm just not doing good enough?? At times, I think and feel that i'm selfish, in fact, very selfish. I want all the attention on me, perhaps... but come to think of it, kenapa pulak nak give me all the attention? probably because I give all my attention to you... I'm not getting myself, so don't worry.. My mind is in a state of disarray... But i don't know how i came to it...

Monday, October 16, 2006

Dreams are fine what???

5 of my Dream Vocations, as tiru-ed from Syada's latest blog entry.. Mari mengimbau kisah-kisah lama, kawan-kawan...

1) Lecturer- on the right path, I guess.. I always wanted to become a teacher and move further on the ladder. The profession just fascinates me and I think there's much I can do with this position in my life. Agree, people??

2) Novelist- I love writing (although most of the time, it qualifies as merepek) and I feel this is the medium where I can let people know me better or probably see my sense of supposedly-poignant view over the world. I remember the days when I'd ask my mum to read all my pieces and she'll just smile with a pat on my back while saying "You're doing just fine, yen.." Hurrrrmmmm.. but then again, it's the mum's job to make their children feel good...

3) Disc Jockey or Club DJ- Ok, stop laughing.. it's not that funny pun. believe it or not, i still want to be one.. planning to learn the techniques when I return home. Just for fun and to quench my curiousity... Well, i am just 21 years old, after all

4) Photographer- tangkap gambar pun selalu tertutup flash.. camne nak jadi photographer??? hahahahahaha

5) Journalist- again because of the whole writing fiasco and wanting people to see the world through my eyes

I have a new job on mind right now, something I'd like to further develop my interest on the future... Probably when I finish my contract with the government or when i do my masters, i'd like to get into media analysis (ala-ala assignment Sociolinguistics gitu).. i love how people can say what they want to say in many different ways yet still achieve their purpose.. Still think that human developed from apes???


Okay, this is an old story.. Last semester, i came to realise it, thanx to Atuk Dan O'Brien, my Educ260 tutor and lecturer.. It goes something like this:

Atuk Dan: So how did you do in the assignment??? Did you do okay??? (as a reaction to my paranoia advice seeking phase a few days before submitting the assignment as well a cuak face a day before getting the results)

Me: Yeah.. I did only alright... Not as well as i wanted, i guess

Atuk Dan: Owwwhhh.. really?? what did you get?? let me look at it (glanced at the paper.. looked at me... and ala-ala campak my paper ke atas meja).. what more would you want??? that's good enough.. (sambil glance ke orang ayng duduk di sebelahku)

Orang sebelah (yang interframe): Yeah, that's a very good mark... I only got a "pass" like everyone else

Me: smiled, dumbfounded.. "buat-buat sweet"

Atuk Dan: That's what we call overcompetitiveness.. Sometimes you are not aware what or who you're competing with...

Then, as I was walking home, I smiled to myself.. what the hell??? Dan doesn't know everything, after all. Of course, i know who i was competing with.. None other than me, myself and I of course... Okay, maybe i'm a bit obsessive about getting good grades and stuff although i always say "owwwhh.. well, i only want or aim for a pass". hahahahahaha.. guess i'm not fooling anyone when my friends just smirk when they hear that line. Well, at times, you just know that you gotta prove a point to yourself.. People always say that TESL is such an easy course, then why can't I get the best grades?? It's not like I'm being unrealistic.. we do need to have goals and would it mean harm if my aim is actually anything better than just a "pass"???

But don't worry, i'm not that ambitious as to get HDs all the time (and I won't, i think.. hehehehehehehe). The thing is we know our ability and when we screw up because we didn't prepare or complete the assignment in the best state possible, you know that you gotta punch yourself hard in the face... And i'm not as obsessive about getting my grades straight as, say, Sean Diddy Combs is about changing his name everytime North Korea threatens to bomb America, you know, probably just to confuse them or something... (Diddy, Puff Daddy, Sean Combs, P.Diddy... Didie Alias, Chicken Curry Puff)...

So the next time you guys wonder why I'm in a veery bad mood after getting assignment results, just don't ask.. Assuming that I'm-thinking about-re-submitting-a-better-piece-tomorrow-kalau-boleh-and- nak-just-punch-the-wit-out-the-next- person-who-says-the-wrong-things is just fine...

Monday, October 09, 2006

My Current Favourites

Giler siot!!!!!!!! VE and dayang are the bomb.. hehehehehehehehe. Rasanya Alicia and Usher bungkus kalau tengok

I'm really enjoying this song by VE entitled Ikhlas tapi Jauh (used to be sung by Zainal Abidin)... people, you know why... hehehehehehehehehehe

But i really think that the vocal arrangement and the music arrangement for this song sangat mantap. VE recorded the song for the OST of a new Malay movie, Cinta starring Sharifah Amani, Fasha Sandha, Rita Rudaini, Pierre (alahai pierre-ku), Shidee, Rahim Razali, Eizlan Yusof and a lot more.. My mum said the movie is ala-ala Love Actually and she's going to watch this movie for our family's usual Hari Raya Wayang Day (which i sadly have to be absent this year)

saya ikhlas walaupun saya jauh dari anda sekarang : )

Nanti by Innuendo... The pioneer of Malaysian R&B scene... i really love this VC. It did won the Best VC award at AIM2002. I think the VC is quitessential in the sense that the makers (innuendo themselves, pot and taj specifically) have so much concern over the Malay culture. I know that some people might argue with my statement, saying that the Malay culture may not be best represented through the 1950's decade and that is through cinemas but I think that is the most documented time of the Malay glory. Name me someone who can completely replace P.Ramlee then we can talk... Our culture is not only represented by what we might call "traditional" dances or stories, it is the values and the language that bonds us together as one.

Plus, if you noticed, you can see VE and Ruffedge members before they become big. VE, RE and Innuendo collaborated on this song making it one of the most melodically rich and tantalising song in BrandNuEndo (after One, Two, The Movies and Ratu Hati... of course)

This song, Save Room, on the other hand, is the new single by John Legend from his upcoming album, Once Again. UUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHH... I'm crazy about John Legend and this motownish sounding song just keeps me getting more addicted to him. Just the right lyrics.. If you like Marvin Gaye, Stevie Wonder and Bill Withers, you'd be certainly drawn into this song too... John Legend, a voice of Eclairs...

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Idol for Me- Final 8 and contending...

I'm really loving Bobby Flynn now... Ricky Muscat is losing his flavour... Lisa Mitchell gets on my nerves... Damien Leith is just the sweetest thing and man, those falsetto sends chill down to my spine... Chris Murphy ROCKS!!! Jessica Mauboy is a gem... Dean Geyer is a pretty sight... Lavinna Williams is the crooner with an eccentric fashion sense...

I managed to find a clip of the original Superfreak song sang by Ricky James (pardon the video clip, though) and try to compare to the miracle Bobby Flynn performed on it... serious stuff, man! that man is a genius and simply unbelievable... To turn a super "kinky", sleazy and lame song into a lovely piece, that requires brain and talent and believe me, Bobby has got them both...

The Ricky James Version:

The Bobby Flynn Version:

shocker?? definitely...

And here are some other of my favourite performances along the way... but it's entirely up to your opinion, though... hehehehehe

Damien Leith- If Tomorrow Never Comes

Lavina Williams- Too Much Heaven

Chris Murphy- Live On The Fast Lane

Aku tak pahamlah ape yang orang OZ dok giler sangat kat Lisa Mitchell... She sounds like a cat screeching, malunya Blondie and Billy Idol... contohnyaaaaa:

Dancing With Myself;

Hearts of Glass

I'm yet to see the real talent of Jessica Mauboy.. she's good, no doubt but she was her best on her first audition day, I think... oh, well... we'll see whether Lisa and Dean meets the "prophecies"..

Congratulate me, people!!!

This week, i have managed to avoid any unnescessary purchase anywhere.. My retail therapy session has been reduced to a very minimal rate.. nampaknya, i CAN control myself.. I could remember the time I blew a few hundred dollars in a week. Kesian pembayar cukai malaysia yang menanggung keperluan berbelanja diriku...

Just as long as i don't see anything on sale anymore.. but then, raya is around the corner.. i need new jeans, new shoes or at least another handbag... how??

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Why??? Why You Do This To Me???

I'm actually feeling a big lost right now.. People who knows me will know that I really love Jay Z and guess what, he's coming to perform right here in Sydney.. Right here, just one show.. and I can't go.

Not that i can't go.. it's just that the concert is happening on the 25th of October or more precisely, 2nd Syawal. Mungkin kalau pergi, kena panah petir kot. I mean, seriously, how often do I get a chance to watch my favourite hip hop artist perform and out of all the available time, he has to choose that date. To wait for him to come to Malaysia instead, I can probably wait for my kids to already be in high school and he comes for a concert named "Nostalgic Days with Jay Z: A Walk Down Memory Alley"

With the arrival of Jay Z, I also realised that i don't really have friends who enjoy doing ALL the things I love. I can't help but to feel the absence of my close friends as for sure if Nina, Nabil or Aimi is here, they'd be into the concert as well and would be my teman to watch it.. No doubt Durra doesn't have a problem with going but i know she's probably just doing it for my sake (thanxlah, dude). Not that my Macquarian friends don't know how to have fun but probably we have different ideas of the term fun.. Which reminds me that I haven't really been doing things I usually do back home ever since I came here... but that's a whole different storylah..

Why Jay Z??? Why you do this to me??

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Facts of Life

I read in a book written by Lesley Krueger that being a purveyor of information is a sign of loneliness... much for facts too.

*the last letter to be added to the alphabet is J*

*the average person will spend 5 years eating during their lifetime*

*the original recipe for chocolate contained chili powder instead of sugar*

*It took Leonardo da Vinci 12 years to paint the lips of Mona Lisa*

*Caterpillars have 2000 muscles*

*Snoopy is the most common dog name starting with the letter "S"*

*Cows give more milk when they listen to music*

*Every hour, the body replace one billion cells*

*You have to play table tennis more than 24 hours to lose 1kg*

*Honeybees are the only type of insects that provides a type of food for human*

*Pineapple is actually a very large berry*

*Top performing companies are called the blue chips after the costliest chips in casinos*

*China only has one time zone*

*The largest fish is the Whale Shark, which can be 15 metres long and weigh 2000kg*

*When glass breaks, the crack moves faster than 5000kmph*

*Favourite horses only wins 30% of the races*

*To survive, most birds have to eat at least half of their body weight in food a day*

*Swimming 1/4 km is like running 1km*

*Your brain is more active sleeping than it is watching tv*

*Barbie is 25cm tall*

*A two-hour motion picture uses 3.3km film*

*Lettuce has been grown and cultivated for 2500 years*

*Kermit the Frog has 11 points on his collar*

*A man's voice is deeper because they have larger vocal chords*

*The Koala is the few land animals that doesn't require water to survive. It consumes a kilo of leaves a day sleeps up to 18 hours a day*

*The Garfish has green bones*

*The size of your foot is approximately the size of your forearms*

*Acorns if eaten can cause kidney damage*

*Placing a piece of charcoal, chalk or mothballs in a toolbox can prevent tools from rusting*

*On a clear, dark night, human can see a candle burning 50km away*

*As much as 50 litres of maple sap is needed to make a litre of maple syrup*

*The bullfrog is the only animal that doesn't sleep*

*Female elephants produces only one off spring every five years*

*The African eagle, swooping at 200kmph, can brake to a halt at 6 metres*

*Cooking and freezing does not affect the heat of chilli*

*Termites eat wood twice as fast while listening to heavy metal music*

*A violin contains of 70 individual pieces of wood*

*The brain is 74% water*

*Most newborns cry without tears until they are three to six weeks old*

*The scale on the underside of snakes are called 'scutes'*

*In most advertisements, the time displayed on a watch is 10.10*

*It takes about 500 peanuts to make a jar of peanut butter*