Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Gaining Trust On Yourself

Doesn’t it just piss the wit out of you when you thought you just saw one of the most brilliant movies and at the very same weekend, some critic in the newspaper gives that same particular genius’ artwork a meagre 2 star? I was shattered and felt betrayed by my own choice. What you think is not what the world think, thus it is not good enough. I had to pretend to like things I despise, cajole myself to believe that chic lit is my cup of tea. But I got tired of pretending chiefly because I came to realise that when you’re lying about something you can’t stand, it shows in your every vein. Eventually, I found the strength and stopped reading the critics section and believing them when one of them actually said that Catherine Lim is one of the most overrated writers he has ever read.

Ask yourself these questions. What qualifies another person to unrightfully make you question your sense of intelligence and simultaneously deform your confidence in choosing a fairly decent food for the mind? Why do we seem to care so much about what others think and refuse to sometimes look at things from our point of view? Plainly put, it all has to do with the different strokes we actually take while we paint the canvas of our life. Yet everybody would love it more if you choose the same brush as theirs and paint the same Sunflower that Van Gogh did because it is a sure-hit. You succumb to the masses to be accepted and to fit in. I strived so much to be in synch and ultimately had to lose myself into the mainstream.

Luckily, I saved myself (have I?) but then, I wondered how many others have been captured in this intellectual entrapment and politely accepts whatever others say you must dig. A friend saying that Celine Dion is "The Bomb" (the bomb??), a lecturer saying Crime and Punishment is the book you must read and understand (which is very hard to do), a mentor saying that you have got to love that painting series by Latiff Mohiddin if you want to make it big yourself, a sibling saying grafitti is a waste of time and will never attract any achievement into your door step.

To be able to believe in yourself, you have to acknowledge the fact that Allah s.w.t made every human equally special and different. Thus, be proud to embrace those differences and treat yourself as the creature that God has granted upon many opportunities of vital self-expression. Whatever path you choose is a reflection of who you are and never give that away to ever-ready hands who would just love to have you twirled around their fingers.


Anonymous said...

God, i can't help but agree!!! :) i mean, seriously, it's fun to c people being able to be interested reading chic lit, n u tink u wana do dat, but then it turns out, i actually enjoy reading biographies of a guy who has been abused since he was 6 till his teenage years... i mean, somebody else wud then think dats boring pulakla kan... huhu... well, as u said, we are all different individuals. thank God for the well-read friends and ex-bf dat i have, i actually know a bit, like a wee bit, of current issues, world war I & II, etc... kalau tidak??? i'll be dumb.. haha.. as long as what u like n do does not melanggar any kind of values, i guess we all shud just be ourselves... change for the better, not for the worst...

Ana Shirin said...

which reminds me, i tak belikan buku yang you nak tu kat borders!!!!! i baru ingat..

Anonymous said...

eh, i dh bli dh =)
takpes =)
hehe, tp blum sempat bace =P