Close To Heart

Today, I attended Qhaiyum's wedding and had the opportunity to meet up with old school friends. They all still looked the same and we all still could share a conversation despite the many years we have not been keeping in touch with each other. Some of these people have been extremely close to me even until today but there are some I haven't met in 6 years!

Even so, it is amazing to see that most of us still talk or act the way we did those twilight years ago. We joked about the same teachers (yikes, to think that I'd be joked upon in some years to come!)and talked about our past memories, current endeavors and future undertakings with delight. As if we never drifted apart...There has been calls for a re-union soon and I am seriously looking into it as the bunch has always found it easier to let me organise this kind of stuff.

I feel young and rejuvenated after meeting my old friends. This weekend has been an extremely wonderful one where I get to see people who make me happy :) No more homesick and no more doubts about feelings :)

To Qhaiyum and Fazlina, Selamat Pengantin Baru... May Allah s.w.t bless your union with endless love and prosperity :)


*ada orang berkata bahawa dalam gambar ini, daku tampak macam seorang Datin (isteri nombor 4) yang pergi mana-mana tidak diiringi suami yang sibuk ... hurrmmm.. ada aku kesah? :p*

Kasi Ingat Ini

I was caught off guard by Nina the other day who said "I'm sure you can answer this question" and when she asked who is the current Higher Education Minister, I could not provide an answer. Thank God Nisya saved the day by providing an answer. Shows how shallow I have become in recent days... As a reminder for me and all, here's an updated list of the Malaysian Cabinet.

Perdana Menteri : Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi

Timbalan Perdana Menteri: Datuk Seri Najib Razak

JABATAN PERDANA MENTERI
Menteri : Tan Sri Bernard Dompok
Menteri : Datuk Seri Mohamed Nazri Abdul Aziz
Menteri : Datuk Ahmad Zahid Hamidi
Menteri : Datuk Zaid Ibrahim (senator)-(meletak jawatan-kekosongan)
Menteri : Datuk Amirsham A Aziz (senator)
Timbalan : Datuk Johari Baharum
Timbalan : Datuk Dr Mashitah Ibrahim (senator)
Timbalan : S K Devamany
Timbalan : Datuk Hasan Malek

KEMENTERIAN DALAM NEGERI
Menteri : Datuk Seri Syed Hamid Albar
Timbalan : Datuk Chor Chee Heung
Timbalan : Datuk Wan Ahmad Farid Wan Salleh (senator)

KEMENTERIAN KEWANGAN
Menteri : Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak
Menteri II : Tan Sri Nor Mohamed Yakcop
Timbalan : Datuk Ahmad Husni Mohamad Hanadzlah
Timbalan : Datuk Kong Cho Ha

KEMENTERIAN PENGANGKUTAN
Menteri : Datuk Ong Tee Keat
Timbalan : Datuk Anifah Aman

KEMENTERIAN KERJA RAYA
Menteri : Datuk Ir. Mohd Zin Mohamed
Timbalan : Datuk Yong Khoon Seng

KEMENTERIAN PERUSAHAAN PERLADANGAN DAN KOMODITI
Menteri : Datuk Peter Chin Fah Kui
Timbalan : A Kohilan Pillay (senator)

KEMENTERIAN TENAGA, AIR DAN KOMUNIKASI
Menteri : Datuk Shaziman Abu Mansor
Timbalan : Datuk Joseph Salang Gandum

KEMENTERIAN PERDAGANGAN ANTARABANGSA DAN INDUSTRI
Menteri : Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin
Timbalan : Datuk Liew Vui Keong
Timbalan : Datuk Jacob Dungau Sagan

KEMENTERIAN PERTANIAN DAN INDUSTRI ASAS TANI
Menteri : Datuk Mustapa Mohamed
Timbalan : Datuk Rohani Abdul Karim

KEMENTERIAN PERDAGANGAN DALAM NEGERI DAN HAL EHWAL PENGGUNA
Menteri : Datuk Shahrir Abdul Samad
Timbalan : Jelaing anak Mersat

KEMENTERIAN PELAJARAN
Menteri : Datuk Hishammuddin Hussein
Timbalan : Datuk Dr Wee Ka Siong
Timbalan : Datuk Razali Ismail-(meninggal dunia-kekosongan)

KEMENTERIAN PENERANGAN
Menteri : Datuk Ahmad Shabery Cheek
Timbalan : Datuk Tan Lian Hoe

KEMENTERIAN PERPADUAN, KEBUDAYAAN, KESENIAN DAN WARISAN
Menteri : Datuk Mohd Shafie Apdal
Timbalan : Teng Boon Soon

KEMENTERIAN SUMBER MANUSIA
Menteri : Datuk Dr S Subramaniam
Timbalan : Datuk Noraini Ahmad

KEMENTERIAN SAINS TEKNOLOGI DAN INOVASI
Menteri : Datuk Dr Maximus Ongkili
Timbalan : Fadillah Yusof

KEMENTERIAN PERUMAHAN DAN KERAJAAN TEMPATAN
Menteri : Datuk Ong Ka Chuan
Timbalan : Datuk Robert Lau Hoi Chew
Timbalan : Datuk Hamzah Zainudin

KEMENTERIAN PERTAHANAN
Menteri : Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi
Timbalan : Datuk Wira Abu Seman Yusop

KEMENTERIAN KEMAJUAN LUAR BANDAR DAN WILAYAH
Menteri : Tan Sri Muhammad Muhd Taib
Timbalan : Tan Sri Joseph Kurup
Timbalan : Joseph Entulu Belaun

KEMENTERIAN LUAR NEGERI
Menteri : Datuk Seri Dr Rais Yatim
Timbalan : Datuk Seri Tengku Azlan Abu Bakar

KEMENTERIAN BELIA DAN SUKAN
Menteri : Datuk Ismail Sabri Yaakob
Timbalan : Wee Jeck Seng

KEMENTERIAN KESIHATAN
Menteri : Datuk Liow Tiong Lai
Timbalan : Datuk Dr. Abdul Latiff Ahmad

KEMENTERIAN PEMBANGUNAN USAHAWAN DAN KOPERASI
Menteri : Datuk Noh Omar
Timbalan : Datuk Saifuddin Abdullah

KEMENTERIAN PEMBANGUNAN WANITA,KELUARGA DAN
MASYARAKAT
Menteri : Datuk Dr Ng Yen Yen
Timbalan : Noriah Kasnon

KEMENTERIAN PELANCONGAN
Menteri : Datuk Seri Azalina Othman Said
Timbalan Menteri : Datuk Seri Sulaiman Abdul Rahman Abdul Taib

KEMENTERIAN WILAYAH PERSEKUTUAN
Menteri : Datuk Zulhasnan Rafique
Timbalan Menteri : Datuk M Saravanan

KEMENTERIAN PENGAJIAN TINGGI
Menteri : Datuk Seri Khaled Nordin
Timbalan Menteri : Datuk Dr Hou Kok Chung
Timbalan Menteri : Datuk Idris Haron

KEMENTERIAN SUMBER ASLI DAN ALAM SEKITAR
Menteri : Datuk Douglas Uggah Embas
Timbalan Menteri : Datuk Seri Abdul Ghapur Salleh

Bernama

Sisters Of My Heart

from left: Syajaratuddurrah Mohd Khairuddi, Nur Amanina Abdul Samad, Aimi Mahfuzah Mohd Kamaludeen, Ana Shirin Razi Rabi, Ungku Khairunnisa Ungku Mohd Nordin.
(a recent picture taken on 24 November, so this is how we all look now =p )

Thank You for always being there for me and teaching me that we can be sisters, with all our crazy stories, incessant laughters, flowing tears, occasional sulking, stuff sharing, group hugging, bitter arguments, colourful redemptions, split personalities, arm pinchings, hip pokings, fashion advisings, coffee drinkings, food wolfings, sleepy mornings, fun evenings etc etc etc....

This is a bond for life fulfilled with years of experiences shared together and yet to be recognised with coming years of experiences to be filled. Through laughter and tears, we've seen it all. This is a testament to life that differences draws in similarities and with that, I look forward for more days with all of my sisters. Thank You to all four of you :)

My Fashion Icons

Someone asked me to describe my fashion sense the other day and I had extreme difficulties answering the question. So, I came back home and reflected on it. I decided to name it "whatever the hell I like". hahahaha. Hence, here's a bit about people who inspire Fashion for me as I generally mix and match what I see from these people but most of the time, it has always been down to my comfort and budget (yaaa, harussss)


1. Marc Jacobs- I would die to walk the runway for him :D His Marc by Marc Jacobs line has guided my fashion direction for a long while. His revolutionary designs that ran along the idea that you can be quirky yet beautiful is so alluring for me :p


2. Agyness Deyn- bold, rock chic has not been the most appealing style for me until I saw her. Man, I love her! She encapsulates the masculinity that every woman has hidden in her and I love the fact that she doesn't try to hide that. Good for her that she's the face for Burberry now, kayo ni..


3. Camelia- a lot of people have been complaining that she doesn't do anything so she doesn't deserve to be in the limelight but I beg to differ because she carries GREAT handbags! That's a job to be reckoned with... And I think she has good taste in what she chooses to wear and the type of image that she postulates. She's not pretentious and isn't afraid to try to do or wear what she wants and looking good while she's at it.


4. Marianne Faithfull- the Original Rock Chick (O.R.C)! All those bohemian styles that you see or sport today, you owe it to this woman. She was a musical and fashion prodigy back in the 70s and dated Your Highness Mick Jagger himself. I rarely listen to her music but I've browsed countless webpages that documented her fashion inklings. I wore boots when I did because of her... tak kisahlah Malaysia ni panas sekalipun.


5. Liya Kebede- the black beauty. Love her, love her, love her... she's so down to earth, pretty, successful, has a loving family, a stable career and proved that those with dark skin can be beautiful too! I can never forget seeing her on the runway for Chanel and as the face of Estee Lauder. She was so breathtaking that I felt sooooo..... ngaum! (haaa.. it's rare that I'll turn gay for someone tau!)


6. Mischa Barton- because her psychique is something like me, I tend to think whatever she wears, I can wear them too (perasan ni, okay ke?? hahahahaha). But she carries off "cute" better than me, of course. Plus, she's always decent and whatever she wears is quite achievable. Grew a passion for Ed Hardy t-shirts after seeing her in a few really great ones :)

I might not be a fashionista and have obviously hit some hideous notes along the way too but I have always dressed up to suit myself. I seldom wear things to suit what others think, even if it might result in over/underdressing myself. As long as I feel good, it should be alright. I'll kick someone right in the butt if they tell me that I can't wear my t-shirt, jeans and sneakers on my dates and pay a sweet revenge by looking really good in it compared to them heaped in a haute couture dress! It's not really what you wear but HOW and WHO's wearing it... lalalalala

-caution: self-praise is an indulgence privileged on a certain few who can afford to be criticised, evaluated and laughed at-


Photo credits:
Marc Jacobs, Camelia, Agyness, Mischa Barton, Liya Kebede & Marriane Faithfull

And the Psycho Besar Award goes to…

My Friend’s Ex-Boyfriend who is Like Her Boyfriend but Not!

I’ve been abstaining myself to write about this issue because I felt that it might disrupt my dearest friend’s relationship plus I didn’t want to be nosy and spread out her dirty laundry. But sometimes, I think that this blog is the BEST medium to share my precious emotions and I WANT you to know how I feel (boleeeh???)…

I think love is supposed to be the air that you breathe on, it eases your soul and gives you the peace of mind. That it’s not supposed to choke you and make you seek other pleasures. When that happens, it makes me wonder why we bother destroying our emotional being and tarnishing our mental health for something so destructive.

If there is no trust, understanding and compatibility, I wonder what makes a relationship last long. Is it the security that it offers? I have confronted my friend about this and lanyak her teruk2 too but both parties seemed to be addicted to the emotional turmoil. They have fought over things that define each other where the guy seems to disagree with almost everything she does. It's the idea of that person that you love, not the person itself.

I mean, you gotta be able to accept your loved ones for who they are! Yes, accept them! Not to turn yourself into a psychotic person who stalks your ex-girlfriend who is almost like your girlfriend but not! (Yes, it's confusing even for me but I have little choice about how to describe their relationship, anyway.) I think tonight's incident has been the ultimate test for our patience. My friend tagged along for dinner with the usual bunch kat Oldtown Kopitiam and thus, she wouldn't be able to meet up with that guy. So, the guy decided to stalk us kat Bangsar South tu, tunggu dalam kereta and send messages that indicate he's there watching her like "tgh makan mee ke?" when she gor her assam laksa or "tadi kluar beli apa?" when she went to the nearby 7E. She decided to look for him and confronted him. He asked her to join us back as he was afraid of what we would think of him.

Then, he continuously send in messages that were clearly disturbing my friend's appetite. Me and Durra were at the end of our wits so we went out to look for him. My concerned friend probably didn't want any drama so she said she would go now and paid for her food. Then, we got a message saying that the guy's car tyre is punctured. We decided to pick up this friend because it's late night and we wouldn't budge as long as she's not in the car. The guy didn't want to see our faces, kononnya malu dengan kami(ada aku kesah?). My friend seeked help from someone else as we don't have the tools to assist her. Even when that person came, this guy remained where he was sitting to avoid seeing us! Ya Allah, aku rasa nak tendang je tadi. Durra actually raised her voice asking where the hell he is... Memikirkan the car was in a masjid, we were cooled down. If only it was somewhere else, we would have smacked him right.

I have seen and heard countless nights where my friend slept late enduring arguments that lead nowhere. I have seen her jeopardising her own assessments and work due to the inability of this guy to cope with any problems that they have. I have seen her crying her way through so many shitty things for him. And I have a strange feeling that he did too. Sometimes, you can't just rely on one or two good criteria to blind your sight over everything else.

Seriously, you can't!

Ana Kata "Jahat Tau!!!"

I have a set of friends that might not appear to be that close to me but honestly, I do care for them even though I don't see them all the time. I admit that sometimes I feel a bit out of place in the group that whenever there's a gathering, I resort to being the quiet one. I prefer observing their actions, listening to their conversation and laughing at their jokes but never did I contribute much to the interactions. Hence, the general misconception that I'm shy, reserved, private or worst, snobbish.

Well, the fact is that I've been acquainted to most of them for almost 5 years now. From one affiliation, we have shifted to another that's not any less in comparison. I can say that the same interest that we share have bonded the relationship between us and sealed it tight.

But allow me to be bitchy now that I've given you a bit context about the terms of relationship I have with the two human beings concerned in my-will-be-related-to-you-now-story. Over the duration of one year that I've returned home, I have constantly been scratching my head over the status of this particular couple. At times, they're together and a month later, it would be a mistake asking one of them where is the other. I had to ask someone else who is closer to me what's okay to be asked and what's not. Dahlah aku jumpa pun mereka sekali sekala.. Sekejap berduaan, sekejap lagi di kutub utara dan selatan.

That's the scary thing about the internet. It keeps me updated on things I don't personally prefer to be updated on but I happen to glance through their life due to my caring nature (which you can also call the busybody nature, if you want to see me as the mean person that I'm not). Just this year, the female party fell into two different relationships with other guys. Yet, she pushes him away and pulls him back into her arms whenever she needs him. After one break up with Guy A, she went back to him. Just like that... And now, she is already in a relationship with Guy B! Ayoyo...

I know that I'm no one to the both of them but judging from face value and what has been regulated to my ever listening ears, I have to say to her "EEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYY.... You Jahat Tau!!!!" I feel sorry for the poor guy because it goes to show how much he cares for her regardless of anything that has happened between them. I hope that he finds happiness and joy in another person because sometimes, the greatest love that we had only leads us to a greater one.

Actually, I hope that the both of them find their happiness even if it means going downhill now. May God give guidance to the both of them and all of us.

*I noticed that I've been incoherently indirect in my blogs nowadays. Why? I wonder...*

Where? What? Why? Can aaarr??

I think I'm one of the most confused human being on planet earth right now... I'm not sure what I should do, how I should act, how I really feel...

Owwhhh... I fear this type of feeling although it's wonderful. I don't think it's to be mulled upon but I want to while I can :)

Well, even if it finally amounts to nothing much, I count myself as privileged and actually pretty happy being what I already am to him.

Boleh ke dok feeling macam ni kat blog? Jangan gelak2, aku karate nanti... ahaha

He's The Man!

Barrack Obama has just been elected as the United States of America's 44th President! Remember this date as the date of change and the audacity of hope that "Yes, it is possible for a man to not be judged for his colour or ethnicity but for his character and principles."

It took USA 44 presidents, maybe more so for us but one day, we'll realise that we don't have supremacy over others. We're all equals. This is my hope for the World, this is my hope for Malaysia. That one day, a Barrack Obama will be accepted in my countryland.

The Good Old Yesteryears

During Hari Raya, the family was talking about a bunch of random things until we reached the topic of "now and then". Of course there's always going to be the reminder of how hard life was and how little money they used to have before, trying to make us feel guilty for taking more lemang and rendang than we ought to have consumed. But then I popped up a question that we have never asked before which would be in the same effect as "But surely you all feel lucky that we were born now right?" received with an unanimous answer from all them uncles and aunties, "NO!" (dgn expression disgusted plak tu!)

They all felt that we are sort of unlucky to live in this modern era where we have to be extra cautious of everything. 20 years ago, news about violence and racial problems were rarely heard. They all felt that life was more harmonious and easy going then. They all felt that it was a secure and safe place to be growing up in. The most violent thing was Starsky and Hutch or later, Miami Vice. People weren't crazy on adding more Benz and opening Swiss bank accounts. Leaders were closer and in touch with the rakyat. All of them hung out with friends from different ethnicity as evident in all the pictures that they all still keep.

When they were kids, they were only afraid of one thing when they play outside their house until maghrib which is Hantu Kopek but nowadays, we are afraid of thieves, pedophiles, rapist, flashers, kidnappers and what nots. It's a scary world, this 21st century. My uncles and aunts, despite the hardships, all wished they can raise their kids in the 70s and 80s Malaysia where people love thy neighbours regardless of colour. We give and take without expecting benefits in 8% interest. Where a kid can be sent to buy a loaf of bread 1/2 km away from home and they can count on everybody living along the street to look out for them.

I wanna tuck a flower behind my ears and wear frilly tops matched with bell bottoms and platforms if that's going to make this world a better place to live in.




photo credits: taken from Carry On Costumes UK

Small Kids, Big Minds

Have you ever heard parents here in Malaysia "protecting" their kids from the evil of politics? Telling them it's not their time yet until they leave university at the age of 23? My mum is the complete opposite of that as from a very young age, she has lamented on us the importance of understanding what moves, molds and administrates your life. Of course religion is the fundamental basis but the type of leadership we have in the country in modern days determines what type of life you would lead.

I hate to compare our country with another but in a country of more diversity than us (yes, that's true), USA is not afraid to let their kids to have a say and speak it out loud from their point of view. They are taught to compare and contrast the different sides of the coins (including the sides). From pre-schoolers to college graduates, mock elections are done to encourage thinking and allow them to exercise their future right as a citizen. That's a country of 300 million people with 7 main recognised ethnic groups (caucasians, african american, asian, native american/alaskan, native american/pacific, multiracial & hispanic).

Surely we can do better, don't we Malaysians always aim for that anyway? (The more records we break, the better what?). If so, political consciousness and awareness should be instilled from an early age so that we would all feel it's our responsibility even if it appears to be an obligation to conform to pop culture. We should not brainwash our kids but allow them to decide because if they can choose whoever they like in AF without you telling them to, it shows the power of media and the child's ability to comprehend. Teach our kids about the importance of voting and when it's election time, induct them into the craze too. Not by asking them to wear a t-shirt saying "I'm HIS son/daughter" but to share their opinions and takes on each candidate. I'm sure we can learn more than we expect from them :)

While we're talking about this, I want to share a performance I've came across while browsing CNN last week. It's by a bunch of Seventh Graders (lebih kurang Form 1) from Ron Clark Academy in Atlanta. Ron Clark has worked with disadvantaged children in the USA and if I remember correctly, he was the inspiration for the movie "The Triumph" starring Matthew Perry. In this performance, the group of around 30 kids rapped about the pros and cons of both of the main presidential candidates for the USA 2008 polls to the sounds of T.I's "Whatever You Like" (owwwhh.. enche T.I Handsome). Reckon we can achieve this anytime soon? C'mon, we sent a man to the space already, what?

Officially Yours

Once I was a drifter,
Decided never to trust again,
Didn't want a reason,
To give my heart away,
Never wanted anymore pain,
Making the nights lonesome,
And the days become ignorant...

But then a miracle came,
In disguise of the lovely you,
Changing my heart with due,
To give me a new dew,
And for the sun to shine brighter,
For the autumn to fade hither,
My heart skipped a beat faster,
Because now we're together...

I listened to the melody of the river,
I indulged in the sparkle of the stars,
Yet nothing is as perfect as this feeling,
That gives me the shivers to the spine,
The way you complete me,
The way you fulfill me,
The way we believe in each other,
Gives me the faith and power to relive,
Since now and forever,
I am Officially Yours

Now never would the nights spent alone,
My days are just a different zone,
Darling, you're my happiness,
Since the day is still in my mind,
When you looked at the same sky with me,
And squeezed my hands lightly,
And whispered into my ears,
When you made me officially yours...