Emotions In Consonants and Vowels

It's a sad revelation to achieve the reality that your heart has been shattered beyond repair by the person you trust the most...

I promised myself not to sound pathetic but I think that is something that can't be helped when you're still hopelessly in love with a person who had crushed your feelings like it's the least worthy thing in this world...

It was very hard to fall in love but I finally did with him after a long duration of being a non-believer. Was I living a love of lies?? I wouldn't know... And I wouldn't want to know because I've given all I possibly can give, been all I possibly can be.

It might take me years to fall out of this love... Years of possible lividity for being unable to replace his ornaments of love that once decorated my heart... Years of lucidly being hopeful for another chance of happiness when it seems so far away...

Allah s.w.t knows what you can handle... amin.

Weekly Dosage of Love

It is sort of like a silent agreement that I should call mummy every Sunday morning, around 11.30am OZ time because at that time, SpongeBob is on kat Malaysia and my little sister confirm dah terpacak in front of the tv. If you call anytime before that, my mum either probably hasn't reached home from her morning jog or that you'll have to deal with her occasional "eh, Yen, you hold on ye... *sore high pitch dari luar bilik* Adek, wake uplaaaaa... You ni very malaslaaa... Anak dara ape yang bangun at matahari tinggi like this??.. okay, apa you tengah cakap tadi???"

haha.. just 30 minutes talking with my mum weekly could last me with instances to, first, laugh about and later smiled upon until the next session... let me just give you a few random examples


Mummy: Eh, what song you're playing kat background tu???
Me : Entah.. Lagu Papa Jahat
Mummy: Aiyooo.. why you dengar that lagu?? Even I don't listen to that song tau..
Me : I dunnolah.. I just clicked on their MySpace and this song cam keluar
Mummy: Eh, ada tak lagu lama-lama?? Like Bee Gees or something??? Cepat-cepat cari.. Like lagu Words ke?? Or lagu Carpenter yang Solitaire tu ke??
Me : You think I'm DJ ye??
Mummy: jangan lawan cakap mak...anak durhaka masuk neraka tau.. hehehehehe


Mummy: I kena sedekah pisang some where around this weeklaaa.. But tak tahulah when because I couldn't find the tinme to buy the pisang..
Me : Why kena sedekah pisang pulak tetiba nie??
Mummy: Because E**** ***R dah keluar GangStarz... I memang dah berniat macam tu.
Me : Eh, boleh ke nak berniat sedekah atas kejatuhan orang like that??
Mummy: Ni sape mak ni??
Me : Haaaa.. i rasa boleh kot.. boleh, boleh...

Me : Hurrmmm.. I'm currently not attached kot... I'm not really surelah tapi..
Mummy: Hoooo.. why?? he's too artislah now ye?? hahahahahahahahaha.. hehehehehehe *clears throat after realising that I didn't really appreciate the comment* Takpelaaa.. You jalan-jalan, cuci mata first.. Banyak lagi kat sana sini.. New Zealand mesti banyak lelaki handsome rasanya... Pilih je yang mana nak
Me : Mummy ingat boleh cari kat pasar ye??
Mummy: eh, tauke ayam kaya tau...

Mummy: You rasa kan sape yang akan menang pilihanraya France ni ye??
Me : Tengah baca surat khabar ye sebenarnya???
Mummy: Takpe, I can do two things at the same time... Kire i bolehlah nak masuk circus pun
Me : Haaaaa???
Mummy: Kitaorang ingat nak pi Royal London Circus kot tahun nie.. itulaaa...

As you can already see, my mum is quite childlike.. She's 42 this year but she really loves doing things that I think other mums would not.. Yet, she has the capacity to love people with such deep attachment without wanting anything in return. Thus explains why charity work is her passion. My mum is my rock. It's wonderful to know that she provides me with the most positive insights into life and would constantly remind me, We only live once, dear.. And as true as it goes, she is indeed my ratu hati...

*akhirnya pasti kan ketemu lagi.. i'm glad that my syurga is with you*

Ruang Saya

The major reason I've actually set up a MySpace account is to indulge in listening to brilliant singers who pave their way through this web. Leading on with the success stories of Sandie Thom and Lily Allen who both have been discovered through similar channels, MySpace has become the hub of wonderfully crafted music that otherwise would not be easily available for the masses to reach.

Fellow Malaysian singers seem to use this platform too. Probably because this is where you CAN sound how you want to. Judging from these people, you would find a certain relief in yourself because at last, the music scene is saved from crap... haha. I personally have a few favourites which I "diligently" visit every now and then. Care to visit and enjoy them : )

Najwa Mahiaddin di http://www.myspace.com/najwamahiaddin
Atilia di http://www.myspace.com/rajaatilia
Faviq & Ridwan di http://www.myspace.com/faviqridwan
RadioStar di http://www.myspace.com/layartanchap
RuffNeck Clique di http://www.myspace.com/ruffneckclick1
Shayna Zaid di http://www.myspace.com/shaynazaid
Phlowtron di http://www.myspace.com/phlowtron
Stylustiks di http://www.myspace.com/stylustiks
Quadrose di http://www.myspace.com/quadrose
Sad Angry Babies di http://www.myspace.com/sadangrybabies

Malaysia Has Got Talent...

What is Ana Watching on the TV?

If ever you've wondered why the hell don't we see Ana around that often, this is probably what she's watching on the TV in her room:

1) Rove- the refurbished talkshow by Rove McManus has a new timeslot on Channel Ten. It now airs every Sunday, at 8.30pm and is back after a 5 month break due to the passing of his ever sweet wifey, Belinda Emmet-McManus. The first week show was a delight to watch although I could sense that the audience were too polite to laugh even to ridiculously funny Hamish & Andy. Probably the audience felt that Rove still needs to be in the grieving mode... like NOT! Many remarked that Rove looked slightly older, probably it's the lost twinkle in the eye hence the load of what looks like smudged make up on Rove's elf-ish face during the second show... But all the same, he's back to rule the box.

2) ABC Kids (Children Programmes)- I wonder why they haven't imported these cartoon shows to Malaysia. Minus Lights, Camera, Action, The Wiggles (although I have to "shyly" admit that my favourite Wiggles is The Blue Wiggle), ABC has a deposit of cartoons that are educational and entertaining at the same time. My favourite has got to be Pocoyo , Bernard , Little Princess and Arthur.

3) Chappelle's Show- shown very late on saturday nights should make this show unwatchable. surprisingly, i tune in no matter how tired i am. dave chappelle is HILLARIOUS... political correctness and sensitivity are not the vocabularies in his repertoire. serious, dia sangat lawaaaak... plus the frequent famous names *cough-mos def-cough* doing guest appearance on his show does help my loyalty.

4) Jamie At Home- shown on Channel Ten every Thursday at 7.30pm, he makes me love the idea of you can cook anything into a beautiful dish.

5) Short On Screen (S.O.S)- a compilation of short movies from around the world shown on SBS at around 11pm every Saturday. Grosteque, Beauty, Rythm, Silence, Watch, Blind

6) Dateline- amazing interviews, although it clashes with House at 8.30pm every wednesday

7) The Simpsons- d-oh!

*notice how the review gets shorter... that's the petanda that there's something on TV now*

The Soundtrack of My Life

Keshia Cole is singing what is in my heart and how I feel now...


"Love"

[Verse 1]

I used to think that I wasn't fine enough
And I used to think that I wasn't wild enough
But I won't waste my time tryin' to figure out
Why you playing games, what's this all about
And I can't believe,
You're hurting me,
I met your girl, what a difference
What you see in her
You ain't seen in me
But i guess it was all just make-believe

[Chorus]

Oh, Love
Never knew what I was missing
But I knew once we start kissin'
I found..... I found you......
Love
Never knew what I was missin'
But I knew once we start kissin'
I found..... I found you.....

[Verse 2]

Now you're gone, what am I gonna do
So empty
My heart, my soul can't go on
Go on without you....
My rainy days fade away when you,
Come around please tell me baby
Why you go so far away
Why you go...

[Chorus]

Love......
Never knew what I was missing
But I knew once we start kissin'
I found..... I found you......
Love
Never knew what I was missin'
But I knew once we start kissin'
I found..... I found you.....

Who would have known.
I'd find you.

Now you're gone, what am I gonna do
So empty
My heart, my soul can't go on
Go on baby without you....
Rainy days fade away
When you come around
Say you're here to stay
With me boy
I don't want you to leave me
I need you.........

Cik Iffah Sabrina Razi Rabi

*Sangat-sangat merindui amoi kecil ini* Missing having able to hug her* Missing fussing over her hair* Missing her nagging voice (yes, she nags)* Missing her high maintenance rants* Missing scolding her* Missing curik her breakfast* Missing singing along with her* Missing her untidyness/laziness* Missing her biscuit-sweet smell* Missing her "perasan cantik" attitude* Missing her collection of shoes and clothes* Missing her admiring my stuff* Misisng her trying on my make up* Plainly missing her on her birthday that has to be missed yet again.

I just realised... She's like a living doll for me to dote on... hehehehehehe Rindu sama kamu, adek. Happy 8th Birthday, the ever chic and cute Che Iffah Sabrina. May Allah bless you with happiness and joy/laughter... Amin. Kata kita, Chalooooooooo....

We're Officially "Lebanese"

After the very, very enlightening talk on Rasullulah s.a.w organised by MUMSA in conjunction with the Maulud Rasul, we were served with some "pelik" but "sedap" Lebanese cuisine. Since there were only Jid, Durra, Syada, Iffah and me, kami pun buat-buatlah malu-malu dgn saudara Anton yang mengoffer the delightful looking food. We bedal over 3 pizzas together and ate the scrumptious black pepper pie. Huissshh.. durra, I menyesal tak amik lebihlah that pie. In order to avoid going back too late as well as to be able to heat the food so that it would be far more enjoyable, kami decided to tapau balik these things on a piece of paper plate:

1) 3 lebanese pizzas, with minced meat and vege on it.
2) 3 cheese nans
3) 1 whole tray of baklava (on the left)
4) A 1.5 litre of orange juice (Obviously not on the paper plate)

And yes, people.. All that in the middle of the drizzling rain and only on a piece of paper plate. As soon as we got back, Durra and me continued with "layan" hyperactive theme of today and gave each other 5 minutes max to get ready to makan again. Quickly grilling everything back (except the baklava and orange juice :p ), we congregate in front of the television and ate again. This time with BBQ sauce... ahahahaha.

If you've been wondering what is the purpose of this post, it's sufficient to only say this: The simplest things become interesting when you got good mates...

The Things I Do When I Get Angry

I was tagged... again. This time by Che Tasha. So, here's what I've been metacognating about for a few hours.

1) Take a silent position- it always works because actually it is "wrong" to get angry in the first place. so, take some space to take deep breaths, say some zikrullah and push that thought away.

2) Take a shower- if i happen to be at home during the incident, a nice hot shower could help to ease down the nerves. accompanied with some aromatheraphy bath, of course...

3) Listen to some music- some soothing, groovy tune can help lift the emotions

4) Talk to nina or mummy- these are the people i bother when i have any problem that is beyond self-management. they are also there to listen and give some advice

5) Clean up things- anything that appears "cleanable" will be cleaned with utmost concentration. things get polished, floors get mopped, vacuum gets overhauled... it's been a while since it happened. let's hope it happens much, much later...

lately...

lately, i've been having the strangest feelings... it's hard to be left out in the shadiness of things. i'm fussing over small things, i keep having the worst impressions. sometimes, i wonder why i even bother trying... then i looked at the only tree in the middle of the field... it was alone, solely alone but it was strong.. i need to be like that tree... i gotta be like that tree.. i ought to be like that tree. strong and lonely...