Looming Presence

During the ten years that I have known my best friends (needless to say it's Asraf and Nabil), somehow my opinions always mattered (waaah, ayat bangga diri tu.. boley?).The things I have a say in range from choosing the correct jeans cut until the owh-so-important choice of girlfriends and I admit that it sometimes can be daunting.

Not to say that they would make a decision based solely on what I say but I must add that it influences what they will ultimately decide. And let me tell you the best part, I can never see someone being good enough for them. I'm like the disapproving sister who judges the potential sister-in law with discreet looks and side-way glances to see how she reacts to something. It's not how she looks that usually matters to me but how she carries herself and how well the compatibility between her and my concerned friend is. Then, how she speaks to others there and whether she questions my looming presence...

It's like a unsaid rule that the three of us would implicitly or explicitly talk to our (potential) partners about how it is important that we can all get along well. That my partner will be 'ngam' with Nabil and Acap as their partners can indulge in similar things with me. This is like our second set of siblings, the brothers and sisters we have at heart. It is also to tell our partners that "hey, babe... there's nothing to worry about. What Acap, Nabil and Ana has is a friendship that will never be tainted even if you doubt it"

So when I disapprove of someone and it turns out that the person is as I expected them to be, I would feel guilty if I hadn't said anything in the first place. It's not that I wish to say "I Said So!" but more that I have placed the boys in the caution mode beforehand for them to realise that this might not work. It breaks me to see people not doing them right because these two people are not the playing around type. They are sincere and willing to try although they can be the most confused and fickle minded being at times.

My looming presence is a cloak to shelter my friends from the impending hurt that they might experience. Even when you leave, we will always have each other. Even when you hurt them, we will always comfort each other. Because that is what our presence are for...