Thursday, December 16, 2010

two roads diverged

as i have so proudly proclaimed in a previous post, i am now a driver although you might think that i am about 7 years late.. a close company said that i am a 'modernised driver with a late license' after an online banter where i rightfully so called him a cat murderer for running over a meowing creature on his attempts to drive. but that's just the thing, most of us will go through a traumatising experience as novice driver, whatmore if your first few weeks are spent driving in KL, the merciless city.

why do i say it's merciless, you ask? well, it's because the P sign pasted on my car means nothing to other drivers, maybe they think my P stands for 'pelumba' instead of 'percubaan' as they expect that i must be able to cilok through any roads without hesitations. yes, i have passed the JPJ test successfully but i feel that experienced drivers should cut us some slacks and give us some opportunities to master the skills of driving. some drivers just love to tailgate us, new drivers, with a smirk on their face. Abang rasa jantan ya bila buat mcm tu?

and i bet that any good citizen who feel that law is something fundamental and somewhat sacred, will agree that drivers in Malaysia are forced to continuously break the rules or else, risk being road bullied or ridiculed by others. the roadsigns mean nothing, the speed limit seems to be a sore loser who screams silently in its red & white reminder. no one gives a damn about the rules as though whatever they have learnt during those 8 gruelling hours at the driving schools seem to go out the window when dealing in real life situation.

yet i have to remind myself against my own frustration that almost everything we learn theoretically would usually be something else when applied in practical terms. not much of what we have learnt in school or college are in any way a parallel to real life, right? so, why did i become such an idealist when i very well knew that what appeared in books can only prepare me so much while the rest depends on me?

maybe the idea that i am deemed as inadequate to compete while at the same time risking many lives on the road seem to be weary and dreadful because i am usually turned on by the idea of being in control (hence i chose being a teacher instead the owh-so-depending-on-the-judge-lawyer.) How do i overcome the frustration while being objective if people continue to push me into doing things that i disdain?
for these two roads that i have in front of me do not seem to be appealing at all- one to be a wreckless and selfish driver who might endanger my life while the other to be a driver who follows rules but honked and sneered at all the time.

jomlah kita pening sama-sama and figure this out.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Why is it so?

It is a recurring comment that I will let out every time I leave the cinema-

'This place looks like a trash can'

The sight of pop corn being left scattered all over the place with the empty containers left dangling on the edge of the seats and the drink packets just lying helplessly on the floor. It was as if people who watch the movies just expect the place to clean up by itself, ala wonderland in Disney cartoons but then again, I always get that nudge on my side saying that "they have cleaners, Ana".. Wait, are those MY friends giving the comment? Yup, apparently so.

What is that disease that we have that we seem so intent to make sure that these people have a job-cleaners and sweepers etc? And we also seem so keen on making them work so hard to earn their salary while you waltz away, sneering at their jobs when in fact, our world would be a dumpster if they weren't around. Having foreign workers as the dominant group involved in this field also certainly does not add value to their contribution to society as people continuously mock the sacred cleanliness that we all should practice.

What I find appalling might be normal to you as we all grew up depending on the cleaners to literally clean up after us but honestly, how hard can it be for us to just pick our own trash? Remember when we were studying abroad, we owh-so-obligingly picked up our tray of fast food litters to be tossed into the can without batting an eyelid but do it here, you get stares from the crowd that finally you just succumb to not doing so for fear of being called a freak.

But I say let's all be a freak now and learn to accept these small responsibilities. Only when we can do so, we will feel that we own this country as our home, not as somewhere we intend to just make a pit-stop. If you are walking down a street and you see a piece of paper, pick it up and if you must, wash your hands after wards (or use that sleek hand sanitiser stashed deep in your bag). If you see a cleaner cleaning up a toliet, offer to hold the door for her because I think even you feel nauseous cleaning your own toilet of your own shit.

Let's all start somewhere now. This is a reminder for me, you and you that small acts lead to great changes, a flicker of light can shine a whole prairie if only we see the power of what we can do.

And the lesson learnt..

Hello, Mr and Miss (as well as Mrs). Looks like the 6 months hiatus has come to an end and much has transpired since I have last written on these virtual pages. For some who might have noticed the absence, why you may ask?

The answer is pure and simple: Abstinence. It was a humbling experience on how to avoid oneself from being too immersed in the digital life trap and from what I have gathered along the way, I have also learnt that keeping mum usually, although not always, will drive you nuts!

So here I am, let's update on what has happened in my life so far. I call the year 2010 as the year of achieving maturity and gathering more wealth, both material and spiritual where I have gained properties and skills that will last me a long time. Never have I thought that I would be able to drive but now, it's a reality. Now an owner of a house and a car, I shoulder more responsibility than I thought I could. Commitment abound, I feel obliged to revise my budgeting and look into new ventures to gain more revenue. So the lesson learnt to be applied next year: more hardwork and less shoe-shopping, y'all.

Though, I feel less healthy this year as I had too many tasks to do at work that sometimes I might forget to take my lunch and dinner. So the figured out solution: bring home cooked meals from home. Hot piping in a brand new food container (okay, that's a new year gift for self).

In the friendship department, all is well. I feel that my relationship with the people around me has improved. Take Eika, for example. Ever since we became housemates, I felt that we have become closer (aku sorang je perasan? hahaha). Kak Aizar and Kak Jia give me the necessary reminders in life. Nabil- simply THE BEST. Nina, the gem has always been there. Durra is the partner-in-crime of all time and talking with you just makes me feel whole most of the time. Aimi- you drive me crazy but again, that's what I love about you. Nisya- you are the cooling factor, man.. hahaha. Most of them are either hitched or getting hitched soon and I am so damn happy for them. Truly, you guys genuinely make me feel loved. Lesson learnt for next year: keep them by your side because these guys are irreplaceable.

In the love department, life hasn't always been great but I do enjoy the ups and bemoan the downs. I just wish that he shows more attention and care, but then again, I might be deemed as too demanding. I can stand 5 months not seeing him and that's because I plainly care too much for him. I may hang around now but I honestly do not know how long I am able to do so. We are phasing into the 3rd year of dating and for most, that's long for a non-committing relationship. A lot of advices have been given, most prodding me on to just look elsewhere for love but I am too certain of my feelings for him. Lesson learnt for next year: just follow your guts and do what your heart says even if it might sound absurd.

Such lessons in life may come in handy for me to reflect on my doings (and undoings, for that matter). The year has been fulfilling and overwhelming, simultaneously. But then again, doesn't that show that your life is lived to the fullest?